Comments : The Lonely Lover

  • 10 years ago

    by don

    Excellant, very adult and well thought ou write

    don

  • 10 years ago

    by Midnight Sky

    Nicely done

  • 10 years ago

    by Narph

    Judging Comment:

    This piece just got darker and darker the more I read. I like that. Your imagery is superb as always, "His presence is a carcass" or "stroking her fur all over again, till excema threatens the layers of your love." Poetic hard ball after hard ball, your craft is really so well thought out and elegant. I was originally confused by the poetry-prose style this was written in, but the more I read it, the more I understand why you went that way. I almost think that formatting would cheapen some of the thoughts in this piece, whereas when delivered in paragraphs, the imagery becomes a story of anticipatory torture, where the format keeps you locked into reading through to the end, much like the lonely lover is locked into what seems to be the worst relationship ever described. That probably didn't make sense. Oh well. I'm also a huge fan of the subtle rhyme you've used. Those tidbits lighten the piece and almost give it an air of a fable. Well done. :)