Comments : James Haiku

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This is a pretty good haiku. I think the only thing I would change is the word always. It doesn't flow with the rest of the poem. You could just say "forever". Otherwise this poems holds a so much love for a friend you hold inside your heart :). There is another error as well. In the first line there is 6 syllables and there should be 5. You can take away the "to" it would be better and feel more loving. The poem as a whole is great though. The lines hold so much meaning and you made it powerful. Well done.