Living a dream,
Living a lie
^^
I love the use of repetition!
and the way you state facts
truly brings out your words like their are embossed emotions rising to the surface!
A great and effective writing technique

wanting to make it,
ready to die
^^
I feel like the lines are differentiated
so if you only wrote a poem of the first line of each stanza it will link and connect and the second lines will also link, a great way to reinforce different views and opposing perspectives!

try to be strong,
starting to cry
^^
This reminds me of the angel on one side and the devil on the other, one side is positive and the other negative or displaying what you truly feel on the inside while the other a mask you wear to cover up all the inner pain.

hope that I'm wrong,
know I'm not fine
^^
Beautiful way to captivate the characters weakness's and thoughts, it truly takes this poem into a very personal reflective spiral!

won't be too long,
Life wont be mine.
^^
What a way to finish!
Amazing write!

5/5

Good rhythm in your poems,I like your format (two line stanza) it makes the poem lovely and smooth to read,I adore the use of paradox in each line, skilfully done :-)