Comments : Rear view Mirror

  • 3 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Very first line- some should be someone.

    I truly love this poem. You did it. And that's is something to be so proud of. I think the message of this poem is that no matter what people say always do what you think is right and what you love! You are the only one who can control your life. Anyway. The tone of the poem is beautiful because there is a hint of "I told you so" at the start. That is an amazing feeling when no one believes in you. And I loved how you pushed throygh all the negative voices and thoughts. That takes a very strong person. I loved how you detailed the character and added in everyone else. You focus on the positive and that makes for a better poem. Well done

  • 3 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    It is like as time past

    - past = passed.

    I disagree with BS (sorry James lol) about some being someone. I don't think you mean just one specific person as you go on to list a few of the people you are aiming this at, so I understand that you mean some, as in more than one person. So perhaps to avoid confusion, you could say "some people" which would make instant sense and not affect your flow at all.

    I like the story here again, and the attitude of being yourself, loving yourself, accepting everything that others don't. Sometimes the hardest thing we have to do, is to keep on fighting when everyone else thinks we will not make it.

    You do need to capitalise some of your I again in places. ( you make me sound like a teacher when I say this lol)

    It is a nice happy ending where you can see the people being proud of you, and so all the effort and fighting was worth it, the determination you had paid off.

    I like how you described this scene through looking in your mirror, nice trick.

    Good job