Unfamiliar

She's unfamiliar in that
way that she writes about
odd things like ampersands
and radiation;
how they continue to
tie and untie
knots around the world.

^ I like how you open this piece getting directly to the point and you direct this piece to both the general audience and someone in particular though it is unclear if that is the man mentioned later or someone else entirely. I also like the creativity and personality that shines through this stanza, especially in the final two lines.

-

She admires the
architecture of a man
across the room,
counting the minutes
of his five o'clock shadow,

^ the break before beginning this stanza was a nice touch. it lets us know that the first stanza was really nothing more than an introduction even though it also gave a lot of personality and originality to the piece.

catching his smirk in
a gaze before she
camouflages herself
within the lines of
her poetry,

^ this stanza is my favorite, it really stands out and shows who this girl is as well as the guy. it tells the story without moving anything along or changing the scene. It is a nice touch.

contemplating if
he has a touch of
unfamiliar hiding
somewhere, too.

^ not only is this a stunning way to end your piece it is more than a tie of both characters. it also leaves the audience thinking.

really this piece is completely beautiful. there is absolutely nothing i can find to be wrong or weak or in need of any change. this piece has a lot to it from any perspective and it is an extraordinary write.

Another great read Hannah, such a simple situation like 2 people sitting in the room, and yet it implies these people are close, but in reality, these can be 2 strangers really, and this is the similarity they hold, in the insecurities beneath the skin.

I got the imagery of like sitting in a coffee shop and catching the glimpse of a stranger, and yet seeing the same little thing in them, that you do in yourself.

Nicely worded, and good title choice.

Well done..

only disappointment for me: that I have not been here for several weeks, and when I return to catch up on your work... I only have 2 poems to read!! Hannah... get your pen out please!!! xxx

Wow, you got a 5/5 from me!
Well done!

I love how you began the poem
the flow was great, you did a good job on that
the imagination was there, and creativity, you were able to give your poem the image it desired.

keep up the good work!
Cheers
Robie Lincer

Camouflages herself
within the lines of
her poetry,
This was on my mind when I decided to check out your poem in a less traditional sense I feel that many of us "contemplating if he has a touch" (period ) rather than the whole of
"unfamiliar hiding
somewhere, too"
as it relates to the PQ MESSAGE BOARD I often mistake it for apathy

BTW your poem is well written in form also though I had to analyze from more of a spiritual mode as not to compromise my orientation of desire :)