Comments : A Stranger watching Life Pass By

  • 9 years ago

    by Darren

    Nice storytelling and with great sadness.

    I tried to nominate but have already nominated 3 times this week which is unlike me.

    nice write.

    • 9 years ago

      by cassie hughes

      Thanks. I'm rather new to all this even though I have been jotting down my idea of poetry for a few years now. Its taken a while to pluck up the courage to let others read my scribblings!
      I'm glad you like it. :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Is this how it will be?
    Unending silence broken only by the tick
    of tarnished golden hands that
    mark the passing of the day.

    - I have never known a clock to be described so creatively, what a really great stanza here! It really shows how slow the days pass for you, and how lonely they are, with the only comfort being the sound of that ticking.

    I like how you have structured the poem into stanzas but having a question as the opening line, but then using the rest of the stanza to explain your question. You have made this work very well.

    This poem is so sad because it shows how everything around you seems to be moving on, living, and yet you feel that life has forgotten you, like it passing you by and not taking you with it.

    It is touching when you talk about waiting for the end, wishing it would hurry up. This shows just how torturous it is for you to go through this every day.

    You truly have a great talent, and I feel are one of the most natural writers I have read work from on here.

    Keep writing!!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A sad but well written piece. I love the change of structure in the last two stanzas.
    And "....broken only by the tick of tarnished golden hands" - alliteration and imagery in just this little bit are wonderful. Another beautifully detailed piece, Cassie.