I held your hair when you painted the sink with
Vodka-flavoured sick, and tucked you in.
I didn't sleep all night, bucket at the ready.
You asked me why I looked so tired in the morning
but my lie was white.
I was the one you called first, I was the one
you laughed with over lasagna. I was the one
who showed you the North Star through the orange/black
city night sky.
I was the one.
Written for Baby Rainbow's club battle challenge
Colm- For such a small poem, this piece is packed with over 10 stanzas of emotion... brilliant poem!
I took it on a personal level and so I cried with emotion.
Being there for the one you love and or care for can be taxing, you do it because the love is unconditional and pure.. Just being there, always... very emotional poem!
On a technical writing perspective, I was in awe! Visual displays are hard to express in small poems and you have done that and more with this piece... well done!
3 years ago
Your title caught my attention as did your first line and a half (amazing introduction by the way) but at first I really couldn't see how you were going to connect the two. I really like how you did in the end, it just came in later in the story. Speaking of story, the way you told this so simply, matter of factly, it was amazing because the emotion was still there, and the details still stood out. Because everything just fit together so well. This is truly a wonderful piece. I am glad it was nominated great write.