Too Deep

by BlueJay   Jul 30, 2014


"Your poetry is lonely," he said,
"Yet you write to feel less alone."

"I know," I answered the way wind answers
a hot afternoon jogger on the highway's edge.
There was a silence, the only noises were
the keys of his old typewriter

click clacking away at themselves,
"I'm sorry," I sobbed. He got up
and walked to the door, put his hand
on the doorknob, opened his heart

and faced me once more,
"It wasn't meant to hurt you, Love.
That's the last thing she said to me
and life is too precious to waste
thinking everyone's out to get you."

With that he left me to my thoughts,
replaying the scene again and again,
maybe I should get a typewriter myself
to write my story just as powerfully
as he wrote his. To be in some young person's
dream, inspiring them the way he does
for me. . .

----------------------------------------------------------
Inspired by Ian Thomas's "The Infinite Distance"
http://www.iwrotethisforyou.me/2012/05/infinite-distance.html

5


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Latest Comments

  • 6 months ago

    by Mahesh Kachare

    Best poem. I had never read such poem.

  • 8 months ago

    by Avrii Monrielle

    Very lovely!! Thank you for reading one of my works, I enjoyed looking at one from your collection

  • 2 years ago

    by PineappleKing

    Very awe inspiring!

  • 2 years ago

    by Mermaids Lullaby

    Very nice opening to the poem! I liked how typewriter set in the scene and used in your conclusive thoughts for the ending.

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    I tried googling what inspired you, the work by Ian Thomas, but I could not find the reference so I am interested as to what it was. This conversation between the two characters is quite enlightening. The opening line of "your poetry is lonely" takes my breath away, because for someone to discern that and read behind the lines is remarkable to me. What are our aspirations as writers? I think it may be common that we try to fill an emptiness inside, or write away the loneliness at least. I love how honest and genuine your voice is, it's gives such a realistic tone and by simply saying "I know" and "I'm sorry" shows that perhaps you don't know how to feel less alone, and you don't want to hurt this man. The images of the typewriter are beautiful and a bit somber, as I imagine the sounds being made for the sake of filling the silence. I am also intrigued by the mention of "that's the last she said to me"... maybe it was the man's wife? What really struck with me is the wisdom he gives in saying that we must not think everyone's out to get us. How true is that? We can become almost paranoid, worried, and anxious about our actions and how they are perceived. There was a bit of mystery in this write I found, but it adds to the piece and makes me want to know more about this character, and what story this character will write down. I think keeping track and journaling can be a thoughtful and healing process, especially if one is trying to work through something. A very heartfelt piece. (7)

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