Comments : Too Deep

  • 3 years ago

    by The Fairy Mary Poppins

    Ah the poet's way of giving someone a lovely warning about life trying to spare them pain by saying "here's my life story make sure it doesn't happen to you" quite beautiful and heartening to read 5/5

    -Bet

  • 3 years ago

    by La Reina De Corazones

    Nominated

  • 3 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Great poem girl!
    I love the sound of the old type - writer, it is so nice to hear instead of the clicks of a keyboard! Well done.

    I really liked the flow you gave the poem, the poem read quite fast, and it had a background beat to it also.

    The layout was good, I like how you split it up into the different sections, each time giving us something else to hold in our minds.

    he story itself is very unique, quite inspiring. I think you have portrayed your point here well, and to use this idea of how powerful someone else's words can be, to change your own life, or own views of thinking, is really great. Words can be so inspiring, and not only that, you have then turned them into your own words to share with other people, creating a Chinese Whispers effect.

    Great job, and love the choice of title.

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    I tried googling what inspired you, the work by Ian Thomas, but I could not find the reference so I am interested as to what it was. This conversation between the two characters is quite enlightening. The opening line of "your poetry is lonely" takes my breath away, because for someone to discern that and read behind the lines is remarkable to me. What are our aspirations as writers? I think it may be common that we try to fill an emptiness inside, or write away the loneliness at least. I love how honest and genuine your voice is, it's gives such a realistic tone and by simply saying "I know" and "I'm sorry" shows that perhaps you don't know how to feel less alone, and you don't want to hurt this man. The images of the typewriter are beautiful and a bit somber, as I imagine the sounds being made for the sake of filling the silence. I am also intrigued by the mention of "that's the last she said to me"... maybe it was the man's wife? What really struck with me is the wisdom he gives in saying that we must not think everyone's out to get us. How true is that? We can become almost paranoid, worried, and anxious about our actions and how they are perceived. There was a bit of mystery in this write I found, but it adds to the piece and makes me want to know more about this character, and what story this character will write down. I think keeping track and journaling can be a thoughtful and healing process, especially if one is trying to work through something. A very heartfelt piece. (7)

  • 3 years ago

    by Mermaids Lullaby

    Very nice opening to the poem! I liked how typewriter set in the scene and used in your conclusive thoughts for the ending.

  • 3 years ago

    by PineappleKing

    Very awe inspiring!

  • 10 months ago

    by Avrii Monrielle

    Very lovely!! Thank you for reading one of my works, I enjoyed looking at one from your collection

  • 8 months ago

    by Mahesh Kachare

    Best poem. I had never read such poem.