Unfortunately this is the world we live in and its just getting worse. I like how you have penned this and repetitions are good because they emphasize the writer's view.
But in this case,"Is this the world I live in" been started off at the beginning of each stanza just got me interrupted. Maybe if the repetition was put in different lines within each stanza, then it would be nice. Just my opinion.
Overall though, this has been written well and I like how you have ended the poem...well done :)
I love this poem sad thing is I love it but I don't the constant repition of the title I think if you back off a little and just describe the things about the world you live in it would make me love this poem again I will not go into detail now. Still I love how you see the world we all live in I had a favorite stanza and it's:
'Is this really the world I live in
where the innocent is crushed
till it can no longer stand
where the right and the truthful
have no power in their hand
where the weak is tortured
till he dies
where justice to everyone
Wow, this took the thoughts right out of my head. This world has become, in your words,:
"Hell does exist
cant you see,
beneath these boundless skies it lies"
That is so very true. We people walk about and blame the innocent and praise the guilty. How have we as a human race let ourselves come to that. You did an amazing job here. I love this poem! 5/5
The world is dishonoured, and it's getting worse year by year. Real Example - Few days ago I heard that a step-father burned his baby child. Demons are everywhere.
Unfortunately we people are living in this world only, where we can easily find sin and sinner.
I adore the way you have paragraphed this poem. Each paragraph is speaking the great truth what we are actually viewing. The ending is great. It's good that you have used the term "HELL".
Yaa! It's true that Hell does exist and I accept as true that in colossal amount many people will fall in the sea of fire for everlasting punishment. And if hell exists then probably Heaven also exists...... so we people should also be bliss for we will get the everlasting life in the home of the Lord Jesus Christ with Jesus Christ.
This poem can really bring unwise people on right track. Very fantastic work done by you. Full marks.
3 years ago
this gave me goosebumps. It's really tragic isn't it, when we kind of take a step back and really take in what all is going on, what all is happening around us. There ARE some extremely gruesome things still going on in the world and who knows if they'll ever end..? Wow, sorry to sound so pessimistic lol It makes me just as sick. Really good read though, Hon