Raw

by Hannah Lizette   Aug 16, 2014


My spine twitches like a
nervous eye as I observe
the reflection of a
cursive body that holds
unpoetic warfare
within the creases
of my flesh.

My nose crumbles as
I turn left to right,
front to behind,
head swiveling
to catch a glimpse
of knotted hair
and a reserved spot
for ink that'll
never dry.

Your hands rest atop
my shoulders and slowly
slide down the length
of my rawboned arms,
eventually crossing
against my navel
before I can object -

our gaze unites
within a mirror
(that exposes too
much of me and
too little of you)
and you simply
sigh,

"One day,
the beauty I
see every single
day will unveil
itself to you."

Copyright 2014: Hannah K.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Fenix Flight

    O-O omg wow this is so sensual and amazing. Im speachless. Its amazing.

    " one day
    The beauty I
    See every single
    day will unveil
    Itself to you"

    That line is so beautiful. Its my favorite. It shows love and desire. It shows that the person truly cares. 10000/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Ha! I started to read this poem, and I was like "I have already read a poem like this before... no... wait... I have read this poem!"

    Then I realised it was your entry for the contest! Lol.

    I was a bit speechless when I rad your entry for the challenge, it is so powerful, and not to intentionally be funny,.. it is so raw! Your title is perfect.

    I think the challenge itself was very hard, and could have taken you down different avenues.

    My nose crumbles as
    I turn left to right,
    front to behind,
    head swiveling
    to catch a glimpse
    of knotted hair
    and a reserved spot
    for ink that'll
    never dry.

    - I adore the little description here of you checking yourself out, the head going from side to side is so easy to imagine because we all do it! The description of the ink also, tattoo? Am I right?

    our gaze unites
    within a mirror
    (that exposes too
    much of me and
    too little of you)
    and you simply
    sigh,

    - I especially liked this part - that relationship between yourself and your own reflection. It is a relationship so deep and complex. I love how you highlight on the indifference of opinion here, and how you then end the poem with wishing, and suggesting, that one day both of these people will be in sync with one another. You will truly believe the beauty of that reflection and admire it as your own body.

    I loved your poem Hannah.
    One of the best contests I have personally done myself.
    I would love to have everyone write this poem again in a few months time, just to see if the approaches have changed any.

    Great work!

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