Sad story. It seems to come from the one in the coffin. It's scary. I often wonder if we could actually feel something when we are dead. I actually don't want to find any soon, but if I am permitted, hopefully I'll find out in some years to come.
The overall theme is sad but in a way it's not that much. By this I mean, that a child was born. The dad may not be present but at least the mom has a baby. She is to go through Though times but ... I think I'm empathizing with the woman rather than to the one who passed away. It's a well written narration. Well done
This is actually a short song I wrote a few days ago. In all honesty, playing it had me in tears. It's based on a real mum and child, both of whom I love very much, and if I lost them I'd be like the man in the coffin.
The emotional pain by the ones who remain behind
is see -able. We can see how much this woman is
going through, finally giving birth to a child born
out of love but without her love by her side.
What makes this poem more pulling is the thoughts
and emotions that is running through the one who
is dead and gone. It made me think, what it is like
for the person who has departed this world, do they
still have feelings and see their loved ones...
Thanks Meena, I'm glad it got people thinking because it is a scary thought, especially since by the time we know, we'll never be able to tell anyone about it.
1 year ago
Maher, you tell a real sad story here and make the reader think of how it would be to be able to hear and see beyond the grave.
It's powerful and emotional; intriguing too as I can see myself being either the one left behind inconsolable with grief or the person watching unable to do anything to console those I have left behind because I am the one in the coffin.
You have a real way with words here and as it's based on how you'd feel being in this situation (I read your earlier comment) it's full of raw, real emotion and it shows through.