Comments : Beyond The Grave - (song with recording)

  • 3 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Sad story. It seems to come from the one in the coffin. It's scary. I often wonder if we could actually feel something when we are dead. I actually don't want to find any soon, but if I am permitted, hopefully I'll find out in some years to come.

    The overall theme is sad but in a way it's not that much. By this I mean, that a child was born. The dad may not be present but at least the mom has a baby. She is to go through Though times but ... I think I'm empathizing with the woman rather than to the one who passed away. It's a well written narration. Well done

    • 3 years ago

      by Maher

      Thank you very much for the feedback :)

      This is actually a short song I wrote a few days ago. In all honesty, playing it had me in tears. It's based on a real mum and child, both of whom I love very much, and if I lost them I'd be like the man in the coffin.

  • 3 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Judging Comment:

    The emotional pain by the ones who remain behind
    is see -able. We can see how much this woman is
    going through, finally giving birth to a child born
    out of love but without her love by her side.

    What makes this poem more pulling is the thoughts
    and emotions that is running through the one who
    is dead and gone. It made me think, what it is like
    for the person who has departed this world, do they
    still have feelings and see their loved ones...

    A touching write.

    • 3 years ago

      by Maher

      Thanks Meena, I'm glad it got people thinking because it is a scary thought, especially since by the time we know, we'll never be able to tell anyone about it.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Maher, you tell a real sad story here and make the reader think of how it would be to be able to hear and see beyond the grave.

    It's powerful and emotional; intriguing too as I can see myself being either the one left behind inconsolable with grief or the person watching unable to do anything to console those I have left behind because I am the one in the coffin.

    You have a real way with words here and as it's based on how you'd feel being in this situation (I read your earlier comment) it's full of raw, real emotion and it shows through.

    Em

    • 1 year ago

      by Maher

      Many thanks again for taking the time to read my work Em. I'm glad it resonated with someone out there :)