Blemished Heart

Judging Comment:

What a gripping read this was! The opening verse
started off with a field of dandelions flying around
and one could feel the peacefulness as well as
see.

But; the ending of that verse simply and effectively
introduces a sadness:

silence that reveals
a weeping sunset

^^I also like the expression given here for a
setting sunset..touching! The second verse unfolds
with more sadness to come as well as two people
who are in that field; and the writer leaves the
reader wondering about those three words...

The ending is a heart breaker. It draws an image of
a woman who has fallen in life and experienced
the same disappointment as well as pin time and
time again making her strong yet creating a
deeper scar...a touching write.

Title: Love this because blemished is the right word for a hurt heart. That leads me to believe this will be a sad poem.

First- What a beautiful scene and metaphor! I'm going to take the message as it is here, it's evening/nighttime and the sunset is weeping because this person is alone. This is pretty vague BUT it does lead nicely to the other stanzas. The emotion here is feeling alone and silence is a great word to connect the whole stanza.

Second- To me this is the best stanza because 1. You show why this person was crying, and the reason could be interpreted. 2. I can see it as two ways, she is lost in thought of a memory or the guy is right next to her making her life a living hell. "Tenses" can be represented in both ways as well, any small touch could set her off or the bad memories of abuse or any negative impact could too.

Ending- The time lapse is well used. Time has passed and she is slowly trying to heal from that event. But it's difficult. Love the word play here. When reading this you have to be careful and think about it for a bit. That's great because people will interpret it differently. I believe while yes it will leave physical scars. Here you are talking about emotional scars on the inside, and those are the hardest ones to heal. Excellent job!

What a sad tale you have penned, Hannah. The imagery fits so well and gives off a tone that this woman is very fragile, has hidden her pain for quite a long time. I love how you don't specifically write the three words, but it seems to allude to a profession of love. And it seems this isn't the first time, and maybe it's almost done as an apology or a means of reconciliation? But it's compromised her self-worth because I feel abuse in this piece. The ending is thought-provoking and I agree, sometimes it is the unseen that causes us the most hurt. Whether it is physical or emotional scars, we all bear them.

Powerful poem brimming with emotion.

First of all I voted for this because of its amazing grip of detail and imagery!

Dandelion puffs scatter
through the air of
silence that reveals
a weeping sunset;
^^
I love how you incorporated these words so naturally into your poem, keeping the flow so effective!
I love the imagery your words create, it allows the reader to see this field of dandelions with this beautiful painted sky of oranges, pink and red with little while puffs floating naturally in the sky, I feel a sense of peace and serenity built upon the silent scenery. Amazing!

she tenses as he
murmurs those three
words, an afterthought -
a toxic habit.
^^
Now you introduce the reader to two characters in this field and this peacefulness seems to fade into a tense tone with the characters response to the words spoken, I love the way you have used toxic here composing a negative connotation.
-

On the journey back
down the mountain of
survival, she finally
understands that
whatever doesn't kill
you will always leave
a scar.
^^
Wow impactful ending with a coda to complete this amazing piece - whatever doesn't kill
you will always leave
a scar. - I love this - so powerful!
I like the way you have twisted the poem contrasting to the opening stanza quite an effective poetic technique :)

A very enjoyable read!

5/5