Comments : Detox

  • 3 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I think that this is phenomenal. So many people can relate and you wrote it just so in a way that it can be interpreted in so many ways and everyone can pick their own poison (so to speak). I love the word choice and how you decided to show your voice - it added a wonderfully personal touch to such a universal piece.

    Great write.

    "Dizziness overcame me
    and you'd catch me
    every time I'd fall. "
    ^ this really stands out to me.

  • 3 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Omg!!!!!!! This is wonderful and what a way to come back!

    First- Love makes us do crazy things like fall for a smile or kiss. I believe intoxication is a perfect word to describe love though. It can leave you drunk and stupid and not knowing their true colors. This is a great start as it sets up the title for one and the rest of the poem. You give the reader a lot to think about.

    Second- Short but very powerful. It seems like you two are falling for each other. But I really liked the clever play on "fall" it could be interpreted as you being so drunk on love that you fell or two you were swooning over him hard. Either way to me works well.

    Third- This is where the story starts turning dark or sad. This persons touch leaves you feeling chill. That's when you know you are falling out of love, but you could not see it in yourself. The mask of love is cover over your face and you cannot see through it yet.

    Fourth- I love the connection between this stanza and the third, that mask again completely blinded you from seeing this person hurting you and you were blinded by love so to speak. The scars were building on your heart each time this person hurt you inside, and that pain is worse of all.

    Fifth- After awhile you finally learned how to let go of the memories and pain inside. Though there were a lit of tears involved. Great word play with sober too. I loved the last lines because they wrap up the poem extremely well. The title is perfect for the story you told as well. Great write overall!! 5/5

    • 3 years ago

      by PinkyPrincess

      Thank you very much for your detailed comment!

  • 3 years ago

    by SnowdropsFall

    Beautiful poem. Love is the worst addiction

  • 3 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Excellent. I love the last line; a fitting end.