The title is so strong and cryptic, really drew me in to find out what this passenger was.
Your opening was amazing, describing that place so dark, where there is never sunlight or happiness, only this sorrow and depression, loneliness and regret.
The idea in the beginning of the scar, and how it now becomes that trace of love in your past, a reminder that it will always be within you and in your mind. It introduces this character who you believed to be a good person, and you took a chance on them, but they let you down and left you with this awful pain.
Good imagery of a child trying to get rid of a mark, by rubbing it constantly. You can see the desperation here of how much you wish this scar away, but even if it was to disappear, you would still feel it.
I love the street magic stanza, very unique, and it details how you waited on this person and became trapped in the loneliness, excellent wording with the blanket there.
Again, it comes tot he child-like state of thinking where they believe if they hide under a blanket, it will make them disappear.
That demented side of
me keeps wanting so
- I believe "so" should be "to. ??
Really great ending, going back to the scar, and how you wish the memories were real again so this dark passenger inside of you would go away. It is like the person you are writing about wasn't the best thing for you, but looking back now, he seems to be better for you than this dark place.
My oh my, that was exceptionally touching, the words so intricately woven to create a basket of emotion that just tugs at a readers heart, we are the marionettes and you are the puppeteer, your words the strings attached to our hearts.so incredible :-)