Comments : Daring The Shadows

  • 3 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    First: Wow this poem as a whole is immense, the wording is fantastic and the repeated stanza plays well. I believe the key word here is imagination, in the night time when you are feeling lonely and depressed, thoughts always seem to get the better of you. I again like how you started out by using nature, though sometimes clichéd works well.

    Second: This is the stanza that made me nominate, the metaphor here is ... breathtaking. It seems like you are outside or looking at a field or the shadows are creeping along the wall and you just know. Memories are coming back into your head. You are envious of the field because it is consumed with darkness and that's where you want to be again...

    Third: ...because you want to see your loved ones again. They have passed or gone away from your life. You want the shadows to take you away from the negative emotions again, just so you can be happy or happier as it is.

    Fourth: This stanza is interesting, it seems like you are washed ashore by ghostly figures. You set sail to another course and the sea swallowed you whole. I love this wordplay. The ghostly white see could be interpreted as the moonlight's reflection. Or it could be a metaphor about how you drowned inside your emotions and the negative swallowed you whole. Great stanza.

    Ending: You got your wish granted but did you really want that? I think yes, there is no more loneliness within you and you are happier. I loved the emotions you portrayed here and as I said the repeating stanzas are well placed inside the poem. This is beautiful and immense. It shows us how much the night time can really play tricks in our mind and that can destroy us, with the depression feelings too. Excellent job!

  • 3 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Incredible, intense, stunning imagery and exceptionally emotive,I love how you have repeated that stanza "take me away, take me afar, take me to the place, where my loved ones are"and used it as the closing phrase, hauntingly beautiful.I love it so much :-) <3 <3

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm speechless..... *faints* Beautiful!

  • 3 years ago

    by uttAm

    I always enjoy reading your poems....and this is one of them.

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    So happy this won- Love you Saffie <3

  • 3 years ago

    by Joker22

    Cool poem!

  • 3 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Judging Comment:

    A landscape of dreams
    stirs my imagination
    in the stillness of a lonely night.

    ^^I simply like this opening. A landscape of
    dreams just brings on such an interesting image to
    my mind and that too on a lonely night. It really
    sets the scene as well as the writer's mood preparing
    the reader for what is to come.

    As the poem unfolds it feels like one is afloat in the
    dark sea while memories of loved ones haunt the
    writer's world. The thought of surviving without
    them creates a heaviness one can't let go. I also
    like the repetition of "take me away, take me afar,
    take me to the place where my loved ones are"

    There is a beautiful sadness to this and is also
    haunting. What kept coming to my mind was the
    image of a siren who calls all to their demise. A
    vivid, beautiful, sad and haunting read!

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Saffie makes me cry with her raw, sad pieces- This week she did just that and more with her very pretty, song like crafting of this poem.. I sang it while reading.
    Longing to fly away, the depths of sadness can be felt in each line...
    This is something different from Saffie, it really reads like a flowing song... very unique and drenched in emotions.. Powerful piece this week!

  • 3 years ago

    by Mihir Deshmukh

    Really enjoyed reading this one..............thank you for haring it!!!!!!