Comments : What fairytale is this

  • 3 years ago

    by ddavidd

    Your poems are way enriched than ones of a 18 years old girl.

    • 3 years ago

      by Dancing Rivers

      Thank you David,I appreciate that, it's the best compliment I could possibly ask for <3

  • 3 years ago

    by The Fairy Mary Poppins

    I like how you incorpracted every fairytale you could think of and that was intresting to say the least! what I can say is dang girl you are talented than the poets who have written more years trying to perfect their art and I have tried to become greater but dang girl if you don't beat my meger poetry skill!!

    What rabbit hole must I fall through,
    to refrain from opening my Pandora box,
    prevent my soul destruction.
    what wolf must I deceive,
    within the red-hooded cloak of myself

    ^
    this part is beautiful since I love Alice in Wonderland I've read the Greek story of Pandora and I loved Red Ridding Hood this part was by far my favorite it really is beautiful and we (poets and non-poets) understand this part in the story really and truly stunning good job hun 5/5

    -Mori

    • 3 years ago

      by Dancing Rivers

      Aaww thank you!!! :-) gosh you're making me blush like crazy here!!!!I really appreciate that you took the time to read and comment on my poem, and thank you for all the wonderful comments, but darn I swear my ego is going to burst soon with all these compliments, most of which I'm sure are highly dramatised, but I love do love drama :-P

  • 3 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    What inferno is this
    that Dante's eyes transfix within my soul
    what poison apple has my snow white heart bitten from.
    Oh if only I were as Aurora,
    I could sleep for eternity
    untouched by the fiery breath of the dragon in my being's chasmic core.
    with what mirror of vanity
    have mine eyes consorted.
    There isn't a magic carpet brave enough
    to free me from these haunted palace walls.

    ^
    Holy guacamole!! What an opening stanza! The fairy tale and enchantment is so well described here with such vividness and raw emotions. I loved the metaphors, and the feelings seeping out of each word. The way you opened with a question was really powerful, "What inferno is this that Dante's eyes transfix within my soul" It's like your soul has been consumed and overtaken by the evilness of hell and you are trying to figure out how can you escape this torment. To wish you were Aurora you could sleep and not worry about the torment of evil which has plagued you. The passage of there is no magic carpet brave enough to save you is so powerful as well it's almost like no magic is strong enough to bring you out of this agony. Awesome first stanza with so much fairy tale description!

    What frog must I kiss
    to release the bonds that twisted my regal spirit.
    deformed by my Medusa dreams.
    serpents, writhing serpents,
    rotting in my slumber,
    mock me as I wish upon a falling star.

    ^
    Wish upon a falling star was really powerful to me. I relate because I wish upon a star the first star I see as well as shooting stars in hope that my wishes will come true. That was a big time part of this stanza and poem which spoke volumes to me. I again loved how you switched from fairy tale characters and metaphors to mythical characters and the haunting agony which they have plagued you.

    I paint my future with dreams
    that are as fragile as butterfly wings.
    hoping they'd open some door,
    to the kingdom of my salvation.

    ^
    Beautiful! The way you penned painting your dreams which are as fragile as butterfly wings. Truly amazing, so lovely, it's like these dreams are taking shape but must be carefully painted and taken care of because the frailness of them which may break and shatter if handle incorrectly.

    Oh, if only I could swim from the depths of my captivity,
    and join that wondrous fantasia
    the never-ending story of my victory over the nothing.

    ^
    This stanza reminds me of Neverland, wishing to go back to the times where things were not stressing or life wasn't full of pain and suffering. The wish of going back to the innocence of what we all once were.

    I wish I could awake from this bed of peas,
    and find that it was a test to prove
    that I really am a pure and true princess.
    if only I could wed my dreams
    in a regal ceremony.

    ^
    Beautiful. Lovely.. The wishes of the dreams to come true to live your dreams and hope they would become reality. I know how this feels.. You described it so well here. And by the way don't think you are not a princess or unworthy of your dreams becoming a reality, because everyone deserves there dreams to become real so remember as long as you walk the path of the dreamer anything is possible.

    And cast out the wicked nightmares
    that blew my house down.
    perhaps if I were a wooden doll,
    I could myself perceive,
    what is true and what is false.

    ^
    Love the outlook here. That if you were a doll perhaps you would be able to tell which is true and which is false.. Sometimes I wish I could be away, camouflaged to know what people truly feel or think about me.. So I can relate to you here..

    What rabbit hole must I fall through,
    to refrain from opening my Pandora box,
    prevent my soul destruction.
    what wolf must I deceive,
    within the red-hooded cloak of myself

    ^
    Gosh I love the metaphors of fair-tales again. The usage and the way you wrote it asking these questions are deep seeded and deep minded. I wish I was as deep as this when writing poetry when I was your age, you have true talent.

    To finally meet the Aslan,
    the lion that I'm meant to be.
    how can I kill the white witch,
    when she is all I know myself to be.

    ^
    Oh my gosh I love this. The Lion.. Bravery.. Strength.. Courage.. I feel the same a Lion has always been a big metaphorical animal for me and what they stand for. Awesome the way you put a Lion in there and the metaphor of wanting to be strong and courageous.

    Oh what fairytale am I in,
    that has a happy never after.

    ^
    Strong ending, ending with a question and trying to find what fairytale you are in.. But we are in the one we create so remember live your dreams and fight for what you believe in.

    5/5

    • 3 years ago

      by Dancing Rivers

      :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) thank you so much, you made me smile like a crazy person :-P

  • 3 years ago

    by Purvi Gadia

    This poem is too too good.It is wonderful.Loved the way you mixed all the fairy tales and wanted to escape.

    The lines
    Oh what fairytale am I in,
    that has a happy never after.
    is just the perfect ending

    loved the poem..

  • 3 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Congratulations!

    • 3 years ago

      by Dancing Rivers

      Oh my gosh what???? Thank you so much!!!! :-P wow this is actually quite a surprise, wow.