Comments : Voodoo doll (ottava rime)

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    There is so so much going for this poem. First of all the form is tough but you mastered it perfectly. I LOVE the rhyming because it does not seem forced at all and does well to stay with the flow of the poem. Second of all the title is unique because I don't think I've ever seen a poem written about voodoo dolls :) very clever. The first stanza/part seems to be about making the voodoo doll. Again there is another clever part here and that is, you are the voodoo doll. Putting yourself in that situation is not an easy write but you did well. You did an excellent job with the prompts too, though they were easy, putting them altogether in one poem was not easy at all.

    I must also point out the emotions. Though you are the voodoo doll itself, that means that you are also the human form as well. Though you might seem lifeless you are truly not, because you know what is going on and show the pain you are going through inside. The imagery and wording are stunning to say the least, you get your point across and not over word anything. And that to me was most impressive. As I said before not an easy poem to write but you challened yourself and for that I respect. Great work Andrew. 5.

  • 9 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Ohhh... This was your poem. I loved it. Each and every line perfect. I remember it was hard to choose which poem I wanted to vote.....

    Awesome poem.....

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow!! The poems coming out from the prompts and challenges recently are really high standard! It is amazing to see the progress of them, and the use of the prompts given here is really quite impressive.

    I love your unique title, which again will draw readers in to see what the poem is about, as a Voodoo Doll is something quite unique itself, and something you do not see mentioned in poetry often.

    The metaphors you have created from the prompts are really vivid, they really do reach out to your reader, and I find myself stopping the poem to go back and read them again, in awe of how smooth they read!!

    another great poem from another great challenge! I hope there are many more to come!

    I didn't really know how people would use the "how to hold a ghost's hand" prompt, and tie it in beside the rest. But you nailed it like it didn't even cost you effort! Amazing!

    Well done

  • 9 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Holy guacamole!

    This poem has so much life to it! The emotions which are flowing throughout it are truly bringing to life the voodoo doll and the thoughts and feelings of it.

    The usage of the words you HAD to use and how you placed them in there are marvelously done. It is with precise wording and rhyming you've brought this poem to life. The vividness is so easy to imagine I can clearly see this voodoo doll being created, brought to life to do it's dirty deeds.

    That is another thing I absolutely adore and admire about this poem. The deeds which are done and how the voodoo doll see's life. It is almost life it's innocent unless in the hands of someone evil, you really placed the feelings and breath of life in the doll is a way I never really thought of when thinking of a voodoo doll.

    I loved the metaphors as always, I guess it really goes hand in hand with your poet name and how seamlessly you can place metaphors in your poem at just the right time and have them have such power and meaning behind them.

    Beautiful creation! And I know you had drawn a voodoo once if I recall.. This poem fits so well with that art.
    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    A really awesome, sad yet somewhat fun poem to read.I love the unique subject matter, capturing the point of view of a magical yet inanimate object is something you don't see often, but you executed this flawlessly, strong emotion, the format is rather clever, creates am almost doll-like shape, an ingenious piece all round.5/5