Comments : Spirit Animal

  • 3 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    Voted and Nominated!

    Hannah, I love this piece, you took this challenge and took it greater heights!

    "Bide by the Moon,
    follow Her glow..."
    ^^
    I love how you began this poem by utilising a direct speech - it is highly effective as it lures the readers in - wanted to know more about what is said and seeking its meaning.

    Candles float like
    stars above her,
    each one like a vial
    of eternal light.
    ^^
    I admire the imagery painted by your words and the metaphors seeping through as you objectify the starry skies - a very effective and beautiful touch!

    She bathes in flakes
    of freedom, summoning
    strength for the
    journey before her.
    ^^
    Beautiful metaphors emanate from your words, depicting such power and imagery - I feel like I am there feeling this long and dangerous journey ahead - laying in the stillness of the water - dreading the knowledge that this feeling of serenity and freedom wont last forever.

    The spirit animal
    within her howls
    as she chants,
    ^^
    You introduced this spirit animal very naturally in your piece, opening up the character to the reader like unraveling a deeply embedded secret!

    impatiently waiting
    for the caves in
    her flesh to form
    the magical bond
    that she shares
    with the orb
    of night.
    ^^
    Amazing ending Hannah, Strong and powerful finish!
    I loved how you combined the images so naturally in your piece!

    Congratulations again on the win!

    5/5

  • 3 years ago

    by cassie hughes

    Beautifully written. I love the images created here and the lyrical way it flows.

  • 3 years ago

    by The Fairy Mary Poppins

    Andrew you meanie Hannah won't prasise mine! :P just kidding alrighty I love this poem, well I love almost every poem you write Hannah you have such talent with words!

    Nice quote to fit into the poem it really is but I won't put much detail into it just wanted to say that.

    Candles float like
    stars above her,
    each one like a vial
    of eternal light.
    ^
    Swear to God I'm not even lying I swear that reminded me a bit of Harry Potter where they enter the dinning hall for the first time, besides that I found it very romantic which I love!

    She bathes in flakes
    of freedom, summoning
    strength for the
    journey before her.
    ^
    That sounds magical to me in retrospect I know it's not magical it's just a metaphor or an imagery but I still like the word "magical" also if she bathes in flakes of freedom does that mean she's bathing in fairy dust? It's a stanza of beauty and saying "she's going to put her battlesuit on for whatever comes her way" intresting

    The spirit animal
    within her howls
    as she chants,
    ^
    Reminds me of a consinous but I know that's probably not it and if a Spirit Animal would sceetch or howl or hiss that would mean that you are so in touch with nature you can already know what animal you truly are I think I'm a white tiger(personal thought) great vivd image Hannah!

    mpatiently waiting
    for the caves in
    her flesh to form
    the magical bond
    that she shares
    with the orb
    of night.
    ^
    I'm guessing her spirit animal is a bat? Or a night loving animal? intresting to say! This stanza shows that she connected to her spirit animal and is almost if not already really bonded with her destiny very beautiful! 5/5

    -Mori

  • 3 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    The first two stanzas hold beautiful imagery that happen at night. Since the title is spirit animal and you used bide, it could mean wolves or a certain kind of dog :). Packs always stay together. The journey part is interesting, it seems like she might be following the moonlight and stars as her guiding light, following them to a discovery that is not yet uncovered. This is where the wolf comes in, as her spirit animal arises within. It seems like 'the journey' is to find out where she came from or to find her true pack or home! So she follows the other bays. She is awaiting to be turned into a wolf herself to hold that freedom within her that she so desires. Beautiful work. 5/5 and nominated!

  • 3 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow Hannah -

    This really is an amazing poem, and so eye catching in its layout too, and title!!

    I love the idea of making this poem from a spell, and how you incorporated that into the story, by making this witch wish she was the spirit animal instead.

    It does have a "chant" like beat to it also, which is a pleasure on the tongue, but also ties in very well with the spell type rhythm.

    "flakes of freedom" is just such a powerful line, it really does just show how trapped perhaps she has felt within herself, and that she is so impatient to get her change, it really shows her desperation. And perhaps she feels that by changing herself, her being, it will bring some sort of happiness, or change into what and who she is.

    Creative idea Hannah, and beautiful poem!!

  • 2 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    You did very well with this challenge

  • 1 year ago

    by Formidable Muse

    After reading this over and over again, I couldn't not comment. Apologies if it covers the same ideas that other already have, it just needs more attention as it is a beautiful piece.

    "Bide by the Moon,
    follow Her glow..."

    ^ I love the intro, how it's demanding in a way but also sets a gentle tone. It's alluring and a clever use of the incantation.

    Candles float like
    stars above her,
    each one like a vial
    of eternal light.

    ^ Pretty imagery. I love how you bring stars to mind, it paints such a peaceful moment.

    She bathes in flakes
    of freedom, summoning
    strength for the
    journey before her.

    ^ it feels like a metaphorical journey that she is in preparation of, it's interesting how you say "flakes of freedom" it makes me think of the feeling of snowflakes hitting against the skin. It feels magical in a sense.

    The spirit animal
    within her howls
    as she chants,

    ^ this pulls a really powerful image into my mind. I've always been one to connect with the idea of spirit animals. I believe that the one that has chosen you has a deep rooted connection in your life, and comes from deep within your being. This stanza gives a powerful image of the feelings of that connection.

    impatiently waiting
    for the caves in
    her flesh to form
    the magical bond
    that she shares
    with the orb
    of night.

    ^ interesting stanza. I've read it over and over again and it brings to mind a werewolf transformation. I know that isn't what you are going for, but I thought that I would share that with you anyway. It's a powerful ending to a powerful poem. ^^

    I've greatly missed your poetry, Hannah. I really hope to see some more of your beautiful poetry soon. It's saddening that your most recent poem was December of 2014. Anyway, hope that all is well for you.

    Much love,
    Formidablemuse

  • 1 year ago

    by Formidable Muse

    The edit button isn't working. :/

    I feel stupid now. I didn't see your note at the bottom as PnQ shows up wonky on my phone. I now know that you were going for a transformation from human to beast and I'm sorry to sound stupid in my comment. :P

    Anyway. Lovely poem.