Comments : The Mystic Dance

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    The shimmering leaves
    Of the Bodhi Tree
    In the broad daylight

    ^^I simply like that image of shimmering leaves. The tree of knowledge stands out, stretches out its branches like a peacock ready to dance...oh liked that image!

    Making rustling sound
    Dancing with the breeze
    Bestows inner peace

    ^^I like how you have also introduced the sound of the tree that moves along with the breeze.

    What I do feel is that maybe you could in-corporate these lines within the first stanza to make it sound and alive even more. Just my thoughts but I still like the image and the peace in it.

    Keep penning Akka :)

    • 9 years ago

      by alka mendiratta

      Thank you Meena for the suggestion.It is sounding more alive.
      The image you got is exactly what I perceived while penning it down.My soul was elated to see this mystic dance.

  • 9 years ago

    by yogi73

    I love the deep imagery

    "Dancing with the breeze" --lovely line

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Another lovely poem from you, Alka. Such imagery in so small a piece - well done indeed. "The shimmering leaves..." is a beautiful and captivating opening to this piece which draws the reader in.
    All the very best,
    Ben