Comments : Blackest Dreams and Pearl-Studded Lullabies

  • 2 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This was a great write and as Mark said, the imagery was crafted wonderfully and it made you see the scene enfold inside your head. When you go through a lot of memories, it does seem like they are a long time ago. I like here how you are the main character as well. It is interesting to see you talking or writing another person who changed your life, even though they might not have realized it when you were younger. Innocence comes and goes with time and we always have that one person who does change our lives when we least expect it, you never showed them your poetry because you didn't want them to know that you were in love with them. But when they inspired your novel that is when the truth will be revealed. This is a lovely write full of hidden emotions proving that list is not love and with time love can grow. 5/5

  • 2 years ago

    by konpreah

    You make writing such a fine story look easy. This one has a natural flexibility and feel to it. Thanks for the critique on my poem. I'd have probably missed yours if you hadn't left a comment on mine.

  • 2 years ago

    by La Reina De Corazones

    Before I comment let me say it's refreshing to read a story, an actual story-like poem it's rare that poets do that they (including myself) try to make a poem look like a poem but like a triangle can be a square a story can be a poem too!

    I loved and laughed while reading this first stanza! It was priceless on what he said because while it made me laugh, it's quite adorable in others. The imagery let me tell you this since it's so abnormal to say this: I loved this and I vainly hate you for making this so beautiful I'm very jealous of your talent! The visual I saw while reading this is of a good girl dating the bad boy but then the roles switching on them, and made me laugh when he said he'd find a way out. Very nice introductory stanza.

    God the second stanza is even better than the first one! The reminising of this is just so beautiful I love the combination of emotions and imagery it just killer in every stanza that I've read, loved the way you portrayed lust for me it wouldn't have been black and red more like red a bright red but it makes me think that he was older and that the girl was way younger and the poor guy would've gotten to jail if her daddy knew. Also I lovbed how he didn't know what fun was back then it's funny to me how the mind of a person develops and "fun" is just another experience just my thought. lol

    Third stanza had my heart, since I'm a romantic no matter what for someone else, can't help it. The romance of it drew my breath and made me just "awe" a lot since romance should be used in any given poem/story (purely my thoughts) but anyways I enjoyed the picture you gave. Quite nice that you used the first stanza's first line and give it to this one and give it another feel to it.

    Fourth stanza awe you are analyzing and remembering the past, and it's just beautiful I can't quite say what I want to because it's so beautiful and I have nothing to say. Flawless.

    Last stanza nice way to tie up the poem together, throughout the poem you captivated the reader to continue reading, made them feel emotions, and you wrote a beautiful story. That being said I hope you enjoyed reading this and sorry for making it quite long, was in love with your poem Madison. 5/5

    -Mori

  • 2 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Ive added this to my favs and will be reading it for a long time to come, oh my this is simply breathtaking. To be completly honest theres not much to say thats already been said and for right now im actually finding it hard to comment. I do need to shout out so I'll apologise now :)

    SYRUP COME AND READ THIS ONE WHEN YOU GET A SECOND!

    Sorry but she needs to read it if she hasn't already lol Mapletree gets around a bit lol

    This is an amazing write, really i am so please you highlighted this one!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by DarkLight

    What a beautiful, powerful and emotional poem. Really well penned.
    The boy on the porch steps.