Until I heard myself Laughing - Pantoum

by Everlasting   Dec 21, 2014


Today, a young lady asked me,
"Don't you have any obsessions?"
and I, I could just stare at my tea,
while thinking about her question.

"Don't you have any obsessions?"
I kept thinking. . . Poetry,
while thinking about her question,
Poetry, that's it! My idolatry!

I kept thinking. . . Poetry.
She said, anything other than that?
Poetry, that's it! My idolatry!
But something in my heart fell flat.

She said, anything other than that?
I replied, "not that I know of. . ."
But something in my heart fell flat.
There must be something else that I love.

I replied, "not that I know of. . ."
But how can I not know?
There must be something else that I love.
At least a young beau?

But how can I not know?
I became preoccupied with that thought.
At least a young beau?
I uttered with a dried throat.

I became preoccupied with that thought,
until I heard myself laughing aloud
I uttered with a dried throat
I am obsessed with this thought. So absurd.

Until I heard myself laughing aloud
It hit me, the answer to her question.
"I am obsessed with this thought." So absurd.
"Don't you have any obsessions?"

It hit me, the answer to her question.
and I, I could just stare at my tea,
"Don't you have any obsessions?"
Today, a young lady asked me.

Written by: L.L.

Dec 21, 2014 1:30 am

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Pantoum

The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

The design is simple:

Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4

Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8

Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanzathen repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.

Last stanza:

Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza

The above instructions are copied from this site:
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/pantoum.html

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I'm honestly not a fan of pantoum poems, but you tackled it in a manner befitting a poet! Execution was on point, though I honestly was not a fan of the line "At least a young beau". I understand the concept you're trying to purvey, but the line itself was a bit dry and, no affront intended, worded poorly. I doubt I could do better, as they've always said that the reader has the easy job.

    Nonetheless, wonderful poem once again. Keep at it!

    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I saw this on your blog (I found it while reading Mark's) anyway, I loved it! I thought a proper poetic type comment would be more fitting here than the blog though so:

    I love the way you played with a new (or at least unusual) format here. There is a really cool feel to this piece and a very well expressed voice. The way you told your story and captured your moment to share with us was lovely. The repetition was almost perfectly done. I love the word choice as well, very well used.

    The way you talk about poetry as your obsession really got me interested in this piece because as an author why wouldn't your style have such a strong hold on you? Or rather when you are an avid (insert appropriate adjective and profession/hobby here) why wouldn't you be obsessed with the things you'd love to sit around and do all day? Then you transform that thought into being obsessed with the thought itself simply because you want to tell her that youre obsessed with something that might amuse her or at least impress her. Love it!

    Great piece.

  • 9 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    Great job. :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Two Words.....Freaking.......Awesome.

    That is all.

    :)

  • 9 years ago

    by gumshuda

    I thought I would comment on this later but lol... I'm still blank.
    And I'm still smiling reading this poem.
    Deee...

    You are obsessed with my questions.
    Oopsyyy.

    I wish I could write like you... Just take all the words, conversations and facts and everything and put it into a poem and that to no free verse but a clear pantoum.

    Wonderful sweet luce.
    Wonderful.