Comments : Kindness past October

  • 9 years ago

    by Britt

    Can I just say this is amazing? I love the effortless feel that is put into this poem, and just how vulnerable it is. You did awesome with the challenge, and I love the title!! It instantly caught my eye!

    " Knowing that
    my birth was a blessing;
    my existence, a disaster."

    I've felt this way before, and the way you expressed it is truly beautiful, even if it's heartbreaking. I know you mentioned it's a vent, so I don't know for sure if you truly feel this way or not. I can only hope you don't ;)

    You wrote in such a way that bonds your reader to you - you have so much pain written here that makes you someone everyone can relate to. You don't sugarcoat your hurt, you leave it out on the table, raw, and hardly bitter. It's a skill to do that, I think. You leave a glimmer of hope, and I hope it's clung to. Love this poem!

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This poem was really good and for some reason I found myself reading it again, and taking out parts of it and relating to it. I really feel this poem holds so much in it about depression and how it can feel sometimes, like you are alone, and no matter who is around you, you push them away.

    I really like your opening stanza, and how you mention deleting yourself bit by bit, like you do not want others to see this part of you, and you do not like it, so you push it all away, along with the people near you. Also, I like the way you worded your life, and existence, like your birth was the start, but you feel your life is not going the way you want it to, or the way others had hoped for you.

    You then go on to mention the title in the later stanza, and how even though the holiday season is upon you, it doesn't seem to change too much for you, or about you.

    I think many can relate to this poem, I know I did, and I feel it so true when you feel in the dark places, and you just do not like who you are, and what you feel you have become.

    Really powerful poem. Well done for creating this from the letter challenge too.

  • 9 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    If this is how you vent, i don't wanna see how you write.

    you kill me softly

    <3

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    "And all I can do, is write, write,
    write until all of this becomes a lie"

    ^ This was not only a stunning conclusion but these lines really stuck with me. I agree that the title was amazing and very eye catching. The style and effortless feel are phenomenal and really draw the reader in. Nice job there. So many people can relate to this whether it's just bits and pieces or if it's the entire piece and that's a great skill very well utilized here.

    Nicely penned.

  • 9 years ago

    by Duvnjak

    Beautiful, thank you for sharing it with us.

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Saerelune highlights the loneliness and pain that can sometimes overtake a person and change their ways of thinking, and reacting to the world around them. The poem shows how it can consume oneself, and how depression can truly affect someone, and change the person they used to be. The poem is also written in a selfless expression of believing oneself to be selfish, resulting in the reader feeling connected to the content, because we are all guilty of being selfish sometimes. A very honest write.