Comments : Strong Women Never Bleed

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I so love this poem will try to explain why....what you did with your prompt was awesome soooo dark and all shadowy :))

    "I have told you that you are my sun;
    never have I thought I'd be doomed
    to live in your shadow.""

    ^^^^ EPIC opening stanza right here, the conflict speaks volumes and draws the reader in and BAM! we're hooked.

    "Absorbed by dark, wandering
    like a black unending night;
    in no way reaching your sunbeams."

    ^^^^ UGH...the feeling of losing ones self, hopelessness is something that everyone experiences in life, but I really love how you use this within the context of this piece and your word choice is perfect!!!

    I was going to break down the whole piece but I don't think I need to... but I will summise it........how the mistress is a slave to her own emotions, knowlingly and freely enduring all is something that I find really emotional and is something that you painted so vividly with your words. Nana, you know I am a fan, but genuinly I thought that this piece flowed amazingly, your word choice was fantastic and I just love this write.

    And as for your closing...

    "Mistresses die on the inside,
    altering to mummies; inanimate.
    Mistresses simply fade into void,
    and void has but void, to bleed."

    AlL kInDs Of SeRiOuSlY cRaZy GoOd LiNeS!!!!!!!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    "Strangled, choking on your scent;
    I am helpless in your arms. Feeble;
    wholly helpless in your love."

    this poem could make a dead mistress' heart skip a beat o_o you wrote it so well I really felt the lines I quoted.. there really is a person out there that u just can't resist no matter what damage it will bring..... when a mistress is involved everyone will lose, poem was definitely captivating in a dark way love et!!

    kyra

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Told you i'd be back on this one.......Nominated :P