I will resurrect;
from the ashes that burnt me,
from the stalactites that pierced me,
from the false blames that slandered me,
from the spilled blood that emptied me,
and from all your evils that destroyed me.
Ugh! I have a love and hate relationship with your opening stanza dear friend, while I love the way it's strong I do not love the repetition it just for me doesn't work not even when I do it, it frustrates me. What I love about this poem is that like I said strong, and beautiful and very much visual. The grammar and spelling was perfect...although I was thrown a bit with the false blames part, I for sure thought that "false flames" was it and then I had to zoom in (I am ashamed that while I wear glasses I couldn't tell what was what!
I will resurrect -
from every inch of life that lives on any planet,
from any corner of every heart that has been scarred.
From every nightmare dreamed by innocent children, who are scared,
and from all the unuttered words meant to break you into shards.
I loved the last line it was unique in my eyes I've never seen it before and it fascinates me, while I enjoy the repeating one line the rest didn't need to be repeated you can always (which I do) think of other ways to not use a word too much or else it ruins a good and decent poem! Just my thought.
I will resurrect
as the flames that'll burn you,
as that dagger that'll stab you.
To become the nightmare you never dreamed,
I will resurrect from your very own evil blood.
Hmmm I love and I truly mean love this stanza I have a thing with dark poetry and dark visuals that I'm sure a physiatrist would find interesting as to why I like it. That being said, the imagery was very forceful, indicating both rage (in my opinion) and hatred. Nice last line dear friend.
I will be the fiercer demon of us two,
to destroy all the demons you hide in your name.
Lol I chuckled at this couplet I can't help it lots of people have told me to destroy the demons inside but never in my name lol but I love your stanza love the imagery and the emotions
I will resurrect to die again,
but only after I live your death.
Hmmm nice ending sweet friend. I loved the flow throughout the whole poem and how it didn't seem to jump up and down.
2 years ago
This is terrifying, Purvi! lol You've got a LOT of power compacted into this poem! It is awesome and frankly I'm scared! lol
This is the will of vengeance in it's purest form. It has a fiery mood that plays it's part well with the choice of words - they kind of dance together in a violent way.
Well written and powerful for what it is. I agree with the first comment's constructive criticism, but I believe it is still good the way it is as it proves you were in an emotional state by neglecting the little edits and tweaks here and there.