Comments : Forest

  • 2 years ago

    by Hallucinostic

    Nice Hannah. Good to see you writing again and posting new stuff. A bit gloomy but I must say, great stuff.

  • 2 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    It is sad....but I have to say that this is a wonderful nature piece, truly beautiful, your word choice, flow, tempo everything - for me was spot on.

    My only Critique ..should "miss" be "moss" ?

    Ahem....""MAPLE TREE YOU NEED TO READ THIS""

    5/5 all day long & Nominated.

  • 2 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Read it 4 times........... dear gawd Hannah <3

    Such a beautiful poem, I'm truly speechless!

  • 2 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    This is not what I expected it to be, this is a true force of power defined by words. I was just blown away with the 1st lines of the 2nd half and tottally won over by your closing line.

    Very moving and doubtlessly a very good poem!
    Well done

  • 2 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Haven't read a poem from you in so long! Hope you'll be posting more soon.

    The imagery you present is simple but through that I am able to imagine being in your footsteps, the mystery of the forest and how contemplative you are about life. It definitely makes me think of rebirth and though there is a feeling of pain and suffering, I feel you want to be a part of a greater world, that connection to nature as well... I'm reminded of reincarnation too?

    A few suggestions if you don't mind.

    "i could climb one and
    Catch a cloud."

    - Capitalize your "i" and make the "c" in "Catch" lowercase since you're just continuing the thought onto the next line?

    "I'll be the miss covered rocks and"

    - Did you mean "mist covered"? wasn't sure on that one

    "In the spring
    On the spot where my body was buried
    Under the pine needles,
    Under the snow."

    - Don't have to take my suggestion, it's only an idea. But use more punctuation for the first two lines like:

    "In the spring...
    on the spot where my body was buried -
    under the pine needles,
    under the snow"

    - I feel like you could do more with that line "In the spring" as it could work as being part of the line before or being a part of the next few lines. That distinction is there, that transition so maybe separate onto its own line? I also like how you mention the spring and then the reality of the snow. They contrast each other but it makes me hear your yearning for that season and makes me wish for it sooner.

    A very thought-provoking write. Take care.

    • 2 years ago

      by H. Elizabeth

      Thank you everybody for the comments. I appreciate it. Haha, yeah "miss" is actually supposed to be moss. As well as my other mistakes...I just did not catch them. I am uploading from a Kindle so i am not used to the keyboard quite yet!! And yes, I know I haven't uploaded anything in such a long time, because I did not have internet access.....but now I do so I need to catch up and upload my stuff :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Ariel Vega

    I love it.

  • 2 years ago

    by Purvi Gadia

    Congratulations hannah on the win.

  • 2 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Whoooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!

    Congratulations on the win :)))

    This belongs on the front page!!!

    Awesome :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Congratulations on the win, Hannah!

    • 2 years ago

      by H. Elizabeth

      Oh my gosh, thank yall so much!!! I am so excited that I actually won something. Like, I've never won anything on here before and this made my day. :,)

  • 2 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I find this poem by Hannah to be filled with the powerful content of depression, and how much it can truly take over your life. The imagery of this woman giving herself back to the earth, and waiting for death to make her part of everything around her, is so raw and touching. It is also very contrasting to feel such sadness, yet show the outcome of death making you a part of everything beautiful. Deep and powerful write.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Just read this and another one of your poems - really good writing - some excellent imagery.

  • 2 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment:

    To breathe in nature such as this piece, it explains in such an elegant and simplistic way, the true bond nature has and can have on a human being.

    I adore the beginning and ending of a soul within nature. It's very graceful and sorrowful at the same time, however it shows the natural cycle of all living things and the evolving of life.

    I adore the format, it displays the message in such a way that the poem flows with a very pretty rhythm.

    Beautiful poem by Hannah Elizabeth this week! Truly breathtaking!

    • 2 years ago

      by H. Elizabeth

      Wow, thank you so much. I am so grateful for your positivity towards my poems!

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Read a few of your poems hun. great work!
    Love them all.

    deeplydesturbed xx

  • 2 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Words escape me. A very well deserved win. Beautifully written loved it