Hi this is really good so far..

Maybe you could repeat 'bitter cold'
Go on to explain why it haunts you? Is it a friendship ending? What happened on that fateful night?

Hope that helps

Hello Christy.

The imagery and the layout of this piece are excellent.
In regards to the ending, I would agree entirely with Em's suggestion for two reasons: 1) I like the use of repetition in poetry like this (as long as it's not overused) as it enforces a point in the reader's mind. "Bitter cold" at the end leaves your point and what you are trying to convey as the lasting impression. And 2) because I think it would be a nice way to "sign off" the layout of the piece - the short, two word line would lend the poem a nice visual symmetry, as it were.

Well done on this and I hope you are well (Remember, don't worry about Monday!)

All the very best
Ben

Christy - this is good and is getting better. In honesty, I would keep it exactly as you have it but still add the "bitter cold" at the end there just to bookend the piece.

Excellent either way though,
All the best