Comments : Winter's Smile

  • 9 years ago

    by Brookie

    I love you, will deff write you a better comment soon! This made me smile

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    She has a smile that radiates
    beauty, with eyes that magnify
    the morning sunrise; etched
    within a moonbeams gaze.

    - moonbeam's - because the gaze belongs to the moon, so show belonging.
    - beautiful imagery of that smile for an opening stanza.

    Her iris's sparkle with dashes
    of light, like a shooting stars
    redemption, bringing rebirth
    to the phases of the moon.

    - iris can be made plural by using "irises" to show that you mean both eyes... but not "iris's" as that shows belonging which is not needed in this case.
    - A shooting star's redemption - to show belonging again for the redemption to the star.
    - I love this stanza, it is so lovely and really "astronomically pleasing" .... and yes, I made that description up but it fits what I mean well! Lol.

    She is a Trees most captivating
    comfort, as night falls upon a
    dusky midnight sky, an enchanting
    eclipse-

    - tree's - belonging.
    - I pictured the moon here and the sky, peaceful night, relaxing mood and also just being in touch with oneself and knowing where you are, who you are, and appreciate the world you live in.

    Just when she smiles....

    - Beautiful ending, just showing that all this spark happened with a smile. I pictured the smile as the crescent moon, and how she is calming as she hangs there in the sky overlooking the sleeping city.

    • 9 years ago

      by Maple Tree

      Thank you Saffie! Ohhh you are such a help to me <3