Shadow String (Double Senryu)

by Maple Tree   May 19, 2015


Shallow entities
verbalize confusing fears,
slipping tongues, swallow.

Madness scatters guilt
my coffee mixes with pain,
ghosts become shadows.

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  • 2 years ago

    by Linda Leavers

    Andrea~~~

    I don't want to dissect this, because I don't want to interpret what you wrote incorrectly. It's a short story, in a sense. But this creates an image of a woman sitting alone in her thoughts, but it's ajkeldjfsfdgasdasd

    I REALLY LIKE THIS. I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS.

    It has almost a scary kind of feel. I put this in my favorites and I've sat and re-read it a few times.

    There's an internal conversation. And with ghosts, shallow entities, and shadows, it reads to me like it's been an ongoing, unspoken struggle. Like the speaker is arguing with something inside them - whether something was their fault or not, or if they could have done something.

    Look at me analyzing this after I said I wouldn't.

    I can't stop reading this. I've been typing this comment for like ten minutes and I keep looking at it.

    I don't know. This is packing a punch for me.