Comments : Fix me

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Grant,

    Firstly, great to see a rhyming poem on here. It's like they are a bit of a dying breed?

    I like the honesty here. A 50 year old writing about significant events and how they played out. The price paid for living in the fast lane. It reminds me of the Eagles song of the same name. Living fast with no fear on ones own mortality.

    It would have been understandable to have been depressed and have a twisted view of life. However, this is not the case and leaving this happy ending to the last stanza is perfect. It is the decisions we make and often the outcomes that shape the people we are. The fact that you admit to be in daily pain and despite this and in fact because of this you are at peace with yourself and respect and appreciate the person you are.

    ..and I agree. You are a beautiful person.

    Well done.

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    As Michael says, Grant, this is a lovely, honest write. As a person who usually writes in rhyme, I love this. I suppose, even though I'm 34, I can relate to the content to some degree too. Life does take its toll when you burn the candle at both ends. Good work.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Hey Grant,
    I really love this poem!
    50 years is not old, life is just beginning!!!
    Wear your 'life's story' on your face with pride, ok? It makes people interesting.
    Take a look at this website to see if you can find something to make your bodily aches diminish: http://nutritionfacts.org/
    It changed my professional outlook on food as a weight consultant completely and improved my own health as well:)

    Take care and all my best to your wife and children,

    Ingrid x

  • 2 years ago

    by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

    Hey Ingrid. Long time lass.
    yeah i hear you. The pains of which i speak come a broken back and neck a crushed right leg and a bullet through my left pulse that went through the joint. So not to sure a change of diet will help there. But ill look it up anyway. Thank yoi

  • 2 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    Sounds like you've experienced a world full of pain Grant, reflected well within your poem.
    This is a good write and I enjoyed reading it.
    You have a very straightforward way of putting words straight out there, very honest, brutal at times, but so very real and enjoyable.
    You work well with words Grant. Keep writing!
    P.S. I'm a rhymer too, so not yet a dying breed!

    • 2 years ago

      by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

      Hi Peter
      thank you so much for your comments, its always nice to share my meager attempts with others.
      my writing came from a need to express my emotions as I dont express myself well vocally.
      some are just life experiences.

      regards
      Grant

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Grant, i really like this. We all have our turmoils but we are each perfect.

    Great write, Em