There were galaxies in her eyes because
When she hung herself from the old tree
Her eyes were open wide,
Staring at the night sky and
Her lifeless eyes plucked the stars
Right out of the darkness.
When the rain came pouring down
It slithered down her throat and
It filled her lungs and washed away
The mess the cigarettes left behind
And flowers grew in her belly.
Butterflies landed on her stone cold lips and
Took away any reminiscence of him.
Vines grew up the rope she hung herself with
And around her beautiful neck
Just in case
She was still breathing.
But she wasn't.
She was long gone and never to return,
For she was in a much better place than
This earth we call our
Powerful, emotive write. I can't shake the feeling of that first line, it seems to be embedded in my memory now. Almost seems like this girl had dreamed and longed for somewhere greater, somewhere far beyond Earth and its sorrows. There's such a chilling presence from "him" and a sadness, that now she can be free almost, free from him? Like she felt she had to die to rid her earthly body of him. I liked the idea of flowers growing in her belly, too. Something abstract yet incredible about that.
I'm kind of left breathless at the end, because of the pain this girl was in, the way she chose to end her life, the way she wanted a home. Clarity. Heartbreaking that it had to end that way.
Congratulations on the win, by the way. Keep writing and sharing with us.
Wow, thank you so much. This comment means so much to me.
"Like she had to die to rid her earthly body of him".
Spot on. I didn't even have those words until you said them just now. But that is exactly what I meant.
This poet created something that I've never seen before, it was not only creative, it was gorgeous from the beginning line to the last one, the metaphors took me in extreme happiness it was just a great read.