Hahahaha how cool was this.
i mean really a prized ribbon winning smoked honey glazed ham? I mean pig.
poor princess.
my dad used to have an Ariel 4 square. Always complained of it overheating in the center of the four cylinders, but loved it never the less.
good poem Michael i found it both funny and sad. Well done

Michael - my first customer from the comments thread, lol.

I have to say, this is quite difficult to comment on as I believe Lord Emsworth is a character from books I confess to never having read.
HOWEVER, I can comment on how amusing this piece was and how well written. Coincidently, I noticed your use of the word "gyrate" in this poem ........and after your misgivings on my piece because of the "lusty" connotations, lol.
What else struck me was the gas having to be "off off off" - I myself often find myself in that paranoid frame of mind which leads to my door having to be oiled (I'm sure) a damn site more than anyone else's...
The line "sadness was like a soft plum" also struck me as a wonderful simile - kudos there, my man!
This is funny, undoubtedly; hilarious, in fact, but there really is a sad undercurrent to this piece as well.

Michael, this is excellent and obviously you have a clear understanding of the character Emsworth and this poem has certainly made me want to read more about him for myself. I know the author, so I just need go to Amazon now and order one of the books - I'm sure Emsworth would agree that tales such as his and his prize pig's shouldn't be read on a Kindle.....a man after my own heart, perhaps!

All the best, Michael.