Comments : In the shade of your heart (Double Oddquain butterflies)

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Meena,

    I have not come across this form before. I must say, it looks attractive and a challenge to write well.

    I will read it now...

    You
    have erased
    my bleak moments with
    a touch of your compassion,
    ^
    Life is funny really. Just when humanity deals itself a blow, or a person lets another down, that is when just around the corner a good deed is done and the injustice is cancelled out.

    Now...
    ^
    A good idea to use this joining word to go onto the next.

    I cry with a whole heart not
    wanting to loose
    this special
    bond;
    ^
    This is a super way to describe honest emotion. For is it not through honesty that we are truly heard!

    Changed
    is my life
    for I can with peace
    walk in the shade of your heart,
    ^
    There are moments where another's actions can cause momentum to alter. These line breathe love and trust perfectly.

    And...
    without been judged or questioned
    feelings can rest in
    your open
    arms.
    ^
    As I mentioned above, love and trust creates a love that unconditional. This is the kind of love that can allow a person, a couple, a family to grow and move forward healthily.

    A very good write and a new one to me.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    A clever piece and very well written.

  • 2 years ago

    by Everlasting

    I love this. While reading this piece all I could think was love as love is compassionate, understanding, and much more.

  • 2 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    Wow !!!! With the passing times .........the bonds of love strengthening .........compassion brings in peace and tranquility.........Wonderful piece with an amazing form .
    Meena you are so talented:)

  • 2 years ago

    by Cindy

    Meena what a beautiful poem....I love seeing and reading all the different forms of poetry...

    Changed
    is my life
    for I can with peace
    walk in the shade of your heart,
    And...
    without been judged or questioned
    feelings can rest in
    your open
    arms.

    These words really touched my heart it is such a good feeling to have someones unconditional love where you can be yourself and they make you feel so secure and safe.
    excellent job on the form.
    Lov Cindy

  • 2 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Meeeeeena!!!!! WOW!

    I love it when you write like this, you have such a beautiful control over language and this is juuuuust Wooooonderful!!!

    You have a way of painting so much emotion and imagery when you write that it just engulfs the reader so much....when the heart speaks you just can't help but stop and listen.....Beautiful!