For the Love of a Daughter.

by Poet on the Piano   Sep 5, 2015


I don't remember my age.
Middle school, high school?
I wanted to call the cops,
and trust me, I was "this" close.
How would that have changed
my life?
My therapist mentioned you
most likely would have been
charged. How many months,
years?
Would you still have lived
within these four walls you
spat and desecrated?

There's only so much
a brother and sister can stand,
cringing in corners,
hopeless bystanders while
screams and threats shook
the foundation we always admired -
marriage shouldn't be feared.
The voices, the blame, the echoes
have not stopped haunting our
house.
Even in our twenties, we ask
one another, "are they fighting?"
when the silence makes us tremble.

Does it matter that you
only hit me once?
That you never touched
my mother?

Does it matter that you
never serenaded the bottle?
That you eventually called
for help?
That you've managed
your anger exceptionally
well this past year?

No, it never did.
Because words poison
and I haven't been able
to locate the antidote, yet.

There's still a murkiness
when you speak to me.
I don't question your
unconditional love,
I can see it in your eyes
that you would die for me,
but I simply don't care
anymore.

There's a part of you
still holding back.
There's a hole in me
where your compassion
should have been.

I may forgive,
as God's servant,
but don't ask me to forget.

Just

don't.

-
Written 9/04/15 @ 10:17 PM

Inspired (and title taken from) Demi Lovato's song "For the love of a daughter" which struck a personal chord.

3


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    This tugs at my heartstrings. The pain is so raw and real and drips from every word that Mary Anne writes. I thought the opening was quite intriguing, we often forget the specific times and dates as pain blurs them all together.

    The question asked at the end of the second verse is so heartbreaking. Our childhood often defines us if we let it and no matter how hard we try to let go of it, we never fully can. Even when rationally we know something isn't our fault we can't help but blame ourselves and that's beautifully highlighted here.

    "Because words poison and I haven't been able to locate the antidote, yet." This is what hit me the hardest. There's a reason we say bruises fade but words don't. They embed themselves into our soul and are the most difficult to let go of.

    The last few verses really bring home how the actions have damaged and hurt the author and how they can't find it to forget what happened. And that's so often too true, no mater how hard we try.

    Despite being filled with such sadness and hurt from start to finish, this is a beautiful write.

  • 2 years ago

    by Britt

    Duh, the poison thing makes sense. This is why I shouldn't read poetry before a pot of coffee :P

  • 2 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    This experience is shared. My brothers and I went through much the same, but with alcohol thrown in.

    These are the coldest, most powerful words I've ever seen you write, but I am amazed at the strength it must have taken to write them. Words do poison and, unfortunately, the poison cannot also be the cure. Soft words apologizing are no help for savage words that eviscerate the soul.

    But this phrase is the absolute most chilling of all:

    "I don't question your
    unconditional love,
    I can see it in your eyes
    that you would die for me,
    but I simply don't care
    anymore."

    If a daughter of mine said that to me, even if I deserved it, I would move heaven and earth to reconcile. It would kill me not to.

    Well deserved win!

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    I am so sorry that I did not read this. It is written with honesty and feeling. The contempt for owning a history that is forever spoiled is palpable. Forgiveness is often asked for and often given, but there are times when forgiveness in its completeness is impossible. How can a condemned soul offer complete freedom to another?

    An excellent write.

    Well done on this win.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Koan

    Very touching....