God, MaryAnne.....this is very, very close to home for me.
How many children all over the world live in this silent hell, without the outside world knowing about it? I was once one of them, but no more, although the scars will last a life time.
It is so great that you give them a voice here. I hope you are not one of the victims, would so love to think you have had a loving childhood, because it makes your chances of a happy adult life so much bigger. If not, then know that you can always talk to me, ok?
This is also very home to me and I grew up under these circumstances. It was awful and it has affected me as an adult. And the scars will remain for as long as you live. Excellent written and thank you for sharing.
This is probably one of the most heartbreaking, vulnerable and personal poems I've read from you in quite some time, MA. This is just incredible and awful all at the same time. Poetically speaking you did a great job as always. You made me feel like I was experiencing this myself. But on a personal level, my heart feels like it's been thrown up and splattered all over the sidewalk.
"the foundation we always admired -
marriage shouldn't be feared."
This is beautifully tragic and amazing, and so true. I felt this piece whispered.
"Because words poison
and I haven't been able"
I feel like you're missing a word here. Because words ARE poison ? I'm not reading it clear this way.
"I may forgive,
as God's servant,
but don't ask me to forget."
This is beautiful and just shows your maturity. You know forgiveness comes from our Father, the one, true Father who will never let you down. Loves to you!
This is so personal yet it has touched and shaken the very core of the heart. I admire the fact that you have laid out those years of silent hell and nightmares, it surly reaches out to the others and in a way finds comfort. It can't be forgotten nor erased and forgiving is the nature of a caring heart...touching write.
I am so sorry that I did not read this. It is written with honesty and feeling. The contempt for owning a history that is forever spoiled is palpable. Forgiveness is often asked for and often given, but there are times when forgiveness in its completeness is impossible. How can a condemned soul offer complete freedom to another?
This experience is shared. My brothers and I went through much the same, but with alcohol thrown in.
These are the coldest, most powerful words I've ever seen you write, but I am amazed at the strength it must have taken to write them. Words do poison and, unfortunately, the poison cannot also be the cure. Soft words apologizing are no help for savage words that eviscerate the soul.
But this phrase is the absolute most chilling of all:
"I don't question your
I can see it in your eyes
that you would die for me,
but I simply don't care
If a daughter of mine said that to me, even if I deserved it, I would move heaven and earth to reconcile. It would kill me not to.
This tugs at my heartstrings. The pain is so raw and real and drips from every word that Mary Anne writes. I thought the opening was quite intriguing, we often forget the specific times and dates as pain blurs them all together.
The question asked at the end of the second verse is so heartbreaking. Our childhood often defines us if we let it and no matter how hard we try to let go of it, we never fully can. Even when rationally we know something isn't our fault we can't help but blame ourselves and that's beautifully highlighted here.
"Because words poison and I haven't been able to locate the antidote, yet." This is what hit me the hardest. There's a reason we say bruises fade but words don't. They embed themselves into our soul and are the most difficult to let go of.
The last few verses really bring home how the actions have damaged and hurt the author and how they can't find it to forget what happened. And that's so often too true, no mater how hard we try.
Despite being filled with such sadness and hurt from start to finish, this is a beautiful write.