Ravenous Past (Sedoka, Cinquain & Senryu)

by Meena Krish   Sep 9, 2015


A fortress of pain
built in a dense present with
troubled memories as guards,
compassion lies dead
in bloodied truth and her hope
fed to the wolves of the past;

Relief
stands far ahead
and pain pours through the night,
this ravenous past she cannot
defeat;

So she learns to live
with salty mornings chiseled
upon the green grass.

Sedoka an unrhymed poem made up of two stanzas with
three lines of 5-7-7 5-7-7 syllable count.

Cinquain is a short, usually unrhymed poem consisting of
twenty-two syllables distributed as 2, 4, 6, 8, 2, in five lines.

Senryu (also called human haiku) is an unrhymed
Japanese verse consisting of three unrhymed lines of five,
seven, and five syllables (5, 7, 5) or 17 syllables in all.

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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by GB

    A real piece of art, Meena. I think you penned and conjoined these forms masterly and elegantly. Indeed great job here.

  • 2 years ago

    by Koan

    I have to tell you, your choice and order of poetry forms work brilliantly!
    But probably what more remarkable is that, you were able to execute the
    forms perfectly yet not becoming dull or resonating any cliche. I have read
    thousands of formed poetry but very few could pull it off!!!!
    From your opening line to the closing one you grab the reader's soul
    and walk it through your realm.. Bravo!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    An excellent write :)

    So she learns to live
    With salty mornings chiseled
    Upon the green grass

    The poetess learns to rejoice her life in despair like the dew drops on the green grass .

    Loved it thoroughly:)

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    What a clever and thoroughly enjoyable piece, Meena. Well done and all the best,
    Ben

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    I like this trio of forms placed as one poem...

    Title - A ravenous past. This brings to mind a beast of remembered experiences hungry and eager be very much in the present.

    A fortress of pain
    built in a dense present with
    troubled memories as guards,
    compassion lies dead
    in bloodied truth and her hope
    fed to the wolves of the past;
    ^
    Great imagery, the memories of pain depicted as a wolf. The wolf feeding on compassion and hope. How to keep such a beast out? We build walls of protection and keep them away, well we try to.

    Relief
    stands far ahead
    and pain pours through the night,
    this ravenous past she cannot
    defeat;
    ^
    Hope, there is always this, but here it is so far off, almost unreachable. The rain feels like tears induced by the torment and lack of hope.

    So she learns to live
    with salty mornings chiseled
    upon the green grass.
    ^
    This leaves me with an image of waking up face down. The tears taste of salt and the chiseled reference the cold hard steel of the experience.

    This is just my interpretation, but I have enjoyed reading through your work.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Take care,

    Michael