Comments : This Boat Is Drowning

  • 2 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Vivid to an anguishing degree, Abed. The boat drowns slowly, excruciating knowledge of the doom ahead - so much worse than sudden extinction.

    "waters away from the coast" Waters heal, don't they? Waters cleanse us, we make ablutions with water. Yet these are poisonous waters that take his life - such an affront to the way life is supposed to be.

    The tears to drown in, a typical poetic device you have turned on its head: these are not tears of a lost relationship, or tears of regret. These tears are only possible from a parent who realizes he has killed his child, for whatever hope spurred him on, and tears for the tragedies of the homeland that made this disastrous voyage seem necessary.

  • 2 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Whenever I read pieces like this one, it's hard to believe that this truly happens. This brings me back to reality. I don't know whether is a good thing or not but in a way I wish more people could be brought back to reality and feel what's going on. Perhaps then it might stop. Everyone deserves to live in peace.

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Abed,

    I am so glad this won. Your words are rich in poignant imagery. The relationship between father and son shows clearly to me. The respect and trust is unquestionable from the boy. Like faith and religion.
    The question, Do you think we still have time
    to teach me how to swim? is so sad and with the water leaking in creates a drama that is palpable.

    The last verse is saddest of all. An ocean of tears, like a world of everyone's tears together suffocating life with the disappearance of what is needed most...

    Well done on your win.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 1 year ago

    by Eithne

    Beautiful.. really is..

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    What an amazing poem so sweet and so full of emotion. Loved it

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Abed, I really like this one because although a sad piece it is beautifully penned.

    I thought water was meant to be clear but obviously here it is a poisonous water because it has killed the son of this man when I feel he was trying to get him to safety.

    Em