Whilst driving home... (Haiku)

by - Mr. Darcy   Sep 17, 2015


A Lama leaps out,
then a waving panda.
Seeing shapes in clouds

michael
2015

0


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    What a sweet short piece. I remember being a child looking up in the sky watching the clouds passing by and often I did wonder what would happen if I could sit on one and just fly away. Even now I love to look up in the sky and I see different things and shapes in the sky. Clouds are like little pillows. The sky is full of activity and children love it. 5/5

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I agree with Ingrid, the capital is needed in the last line.
    Reminds me of my youth - I used to spend hours looking up at the clouds, imagining Care be.........dinosaurs!

  • 2 years ago

    by Koan

    Well if you start with a capital in the 3rd line you might want to use a period at the end of the 2nd?! Makes no deferent for me I still enjoyed this read!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    O wow, I love this one!

    You did need a capital in the last sentence, otherwise the reader could have misread it.
    Love how you laid it out and I love the feeling it gave me. I do this too, watch clouds go by. My favourite ones are the big, white cauliflower ones on windy days, when the sky is a beautiful, strong blue colour and there is much activity in the sky.

    This poem belongs in a children's book, dear. It is perfect, such lovely images it made me see and best thing of all is that it immediately brings out the child in the reader:)

    5/5

    ((hugs)) Ingrid x