Watcher

Sometimes I wonder if there is more than 3,
and if there is, I am less than thee,
I dwindle, twirl and barely flicker,
Whilst all else are rarely hindered.

Do I smile, only to not exist,
Do I break the clasps, on my wrists,
Do I strain, only to wither,
Do I hope, only to be told "Never".

If I find something, I am faced with competition,
I never win, nor fathom recognition,
I am second best, I can never compete,
I am meaningless, invisible...obsolete.

Fitting in, but internally killing myself,
Is the burden worth all, including my health?
Or whispering away, to slowly suffer,
It is courage enough to be within the cluster.

Repulsive humans, selfish and vain,
They care not for suffering, nor another man's pain,
Keep checking your mirrors, keep putting on a facade,
Replay your stories, your life is "so hard".

People never gain, nor do they win,
Every step closer to the end, is a step closer to sin,
Rotting souls, that decompose over time,
"Me, myself, I, mine!"

Why do we not care for any other?
Why is it, if we do not win, we won't bother?
Stepping on souls just to save our own flesh,
Attempting to always come out best.

I watch you all, and I am losing my faith,
This race is disgraced by greed and hate,
The more I see, the quieter I become,
I am losing hope, as you feel you have all won.

I am here, and then I fade,
It was always my all that I gave,
My dreams and hopes, they begin to decay,
crushed, broken and given away.

I am sorry all, for no longer watching,
I must look away at this world as it's rotting,
I am silenced without speaking, my opinions mean not,
I am at the final battle...and you...all lost.