I Remember Then

Yes.
I remember then -
where time was measured
in kisses hidden
behind locker doors,
snuck down empty halls,
tucked into corners,
and accented
by tears,
by giggles,
by "I love you"s.
Kisses tasting
of cherry jolly rancher.
Where skipped classes were spent
pressed against a wall,
a counter,
a stair.
Breathless.
Or lying on the floor,
in quiet contentment,
head resting on the softest of pillows.

I remember then,
when the length of class
was the minutes I had with you,
hand in hand
writing notes
passed over desks,
under desks,
hand to hand.
When the length of class
was the minutes without you,
thinking of you,
wanting you,
wishing there was you
beside me.
Yes.
I remember.

I remember then,
the music we made,
with harp strings,
violin strings,
guitar strings,
g strings,
strumming along,
a love song.
A dance hall,
plastered with paper hearts,
with decant sugar sweets,
with friendly eyes,
lost then,
inside yours,
inside mine.
A whisper of words,
tickled my ear,
faithfully and forever,
in the gravelly voice
of you, of yours.

No.
I have not forgotten.
Sharp tongued words,
the razor's edge
of running away
of turning away
of lying away
truths too painful to speak
too powerful
too able
to pop the bubble
of the happiness we forged
where I was yours
and you were mine.
Where we could be blind
to the depressed shadow
opening it's jaws to consume,
you and I.

The bubble broke
anyway.
And in the space between
the places our hands met,
a hungry shadow
waited for the broken pieces.
The space of a long
and empty
summer.

Yes.
I remember after then. . .
locked by those same lockers
were your lips
held not by mine, but by another.
Her brown curls,
not my golden
fanned around your face,
as you held hers,
not mine,
too close to you.
I remember
when every stolen moment,
hidden corner,
treasured lyric
was sewed together
with memory of you,
of with you,
of without you.

Yes, I remember then,
when she turned your face away,
And left you standing on your own,
abandoned
as you had done,
as I had done,
with empty hands,
and air too cold to hold them.
After the agony finished
making love to your heart,
you walked the short distance, then,
between your locker and mine
and said,
almost too softly to hear,
"Do you remember when?"