Comments : As I remember you...

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Meena

    And you say my poems have been of a darker hue recently?!
    "the magnitude of its force grabs my throat ripping my senses apart" - powerful stuff.
    I love the repetition of "as I remember you" at the end of this piece - very effective.
    All the best and I hope you are well,
    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Cindy

    Meena
    Such a sad piece you have written. So many vivid details.

    No shelter can withstand
    the monsoon which screams,
    weight of your love is so grand
    it leaves a lonely theme

    ^^^^
    The images that go through the readers mind here. The winds blowing and roaring like a lion. Taking down all the buildings with the force of the driving rains.

    I never knew;
    The tears I cry within
    my broken heart can't bear,
    it distorts all view
    leaving me breathless and blue
    as I remember you

    ^^^^^

    How a heart can feel after losing someone we love so much. This poem holds so much inside it's words.

    Great job!
    Take care
    Love Cindy

  • 1 year ago

    by CRAFTY KEN

    Your poem expresses what many have felt after a lost love, emotions that cannot be subdued, an empty heart filled with pain. The memories you cling to bring back a flood of the good times but fade into the reality of a love lost. Great job, Nominated!
    Ken

  • 1 year ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    A gush of memory floods my heart,

    - one of the most powerful opening lines I can remember reading. What a great word choice in "gush"

    the magnitude of its force
    grabs my throat ripping my senses apart,

    - another great word choice of "force and grab" again showing how unexpected this memory is, and how it suddenly hits you.

    agony of remembering you
    leaves me breathless and blue
    as I grasp for air to heal my wounds;

    - I can so relate to this little part - you have expressed perfectly the pain of remembering a loved one, and have made it feel so raw here!

    No shelter can withstand
    the monsoon which screams,
    weight of your love is so grand
    it leaves a lonely theme
    I never knew;

    - to have a monsoon to represent the tears is amazing, makes the whole loss in this poem seem non-cliche compared to other poems of loss.

    The tears I cry within
    my broken heart can't bear,
    it distorts all view
    leaving me breathless and blue
    as I remember you

    as I remember you...

    - lovely repetition at the end of remembering them, and also of the being breathless again, which is how it feels when this memory hits you from nowhere.

    I really relate to this poem and I think you have captured this emotion with so much talent. Well done.

  • 1 year ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging comment
    Meena took the readers by emotional storm with this heavy hearten write, teary eyed from start to finish.

    The heart weighs heavy when missing the ones you love. Sorrow whispers throughout, leaving endless amounts of anguish and grief. This write hits the heart and soul of the reader. Lovely and elegant, emotional write by Meena!

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Wow very powerful stuff.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Such a heartwrenxhing piece

  • 1 year ago

    by William Mae

    Beautiful, the memories we own take us to the height and depth to experience emotion in raw unrepenting form. They direct our thought, command our attention, force us to deal with their presence. Just beautifully written.