Sorry for not commenting earlier. I did read this and re-read it again and here are my suggestions if you don't mind.
^^There is a bit of a disruption here maybe
re-writing it another way without loosing your
intention will help.
The more tempestuous
the wind that buffets us
More we press on
With stronger faith
^^This stanza perhaps "the" at the beginning
can be removed and add it to the following line so it would make a better flow. Also the word conviction
at the end kind a cuts off the subtle rhyming. After
re-reading it I feel the word faith can be omitted.
^^I feel there is a word missing here..the connection
is not felt , for instance unleashing what-
is it strength, faith etc.
Like the radiant sun
^^I like the ending here and the sprit of your voice
perhaps an added word will help.
exerting great determination
to break deadlocks;
More tempestuous the wind
that buffet us,
the more we press on
with a stronger mind;
like the radiant sun!
I hope you don't mind my suggestions...take care and keep penning :)
Thank you Meena for helping me grow :)
Your form has given more meaning to the poem .
1 year ago
by Ben Pickard
Great to read some of your work.
This is excellent - a great piece about the human spirit. The more we are knocked down, the harder we become and the easier it then becomes to get back up again.
Well done and all the very best,