I am currently reading Great Expectations (it has taken me too long to get round to it) and one of the themes is the main character's (Pip's) desperate pursuit of Estella's heart, which she teases him with and hangs like a carrot in front of his nose throughout and - even though he knows what she is doing - is consigned (as men always seem to be the world over) to pursue it haplessly anyway, despite her stating he would never have it.
I am not comparing Laura to Estella, but - if this poem is remotely literal - you probably understand my meaning.
Stunning and delicately written as ever Mark. Nominated.
This poem is really interesting to me, which is obvious as to why I am writing a comment about it. This seems like a love poem, or at least a poem that is about someone that you cared for deeply.
First thing that I noticed was the title, because I honestly don't speak that language. I then decided that my trusty sidekick (Google) would assist me in looking for the translation of this title, and discovered that it means "Love conquers nothing," or something similar to that. My condolences to what you have suffered so far, but I have to say that I disagree with you. Love is a very complex feeling, and it can take a lot to change something/someone, but it is one of the most valuable because a lot of people do not experience it. I'm sure whoever you spent your time loving, they must have been worth it to you.
I have noticed that throughout your poem, you used lowercase the letter 'I.' Which honestly bugs me, because of everything one is taught in school about not having a lowercased 'I' and crap like that. However, the more I thought about it, I think that you do it for some reason. The reason that I have come up with in my head is that you want to portray to the reader that the poet is a weak person. That they basically meant nothing to the person that the poem is about. It symbolizes how weak that this person feels.
I'm not an expert in love, but I wouldn't give up by any means. I'm sure you have not stopped loving them, if the love you had for them was this deep. Love always has a way of turning things around in the end, if you just have faith. Life is unpredictable.
If I could nominate this, I would. Even though you classified it as a rant, it was one that was from the heart.
but written from the heart.
Stock full of feelings,
I hope venting this helped
1 year ago
Mark, this is truly a masterpiece and on first read I was somewhat confused by it so I read it again, twice.
Here is my conclusion: I feel that this is about someone you truly cared about once upon a time but now the Meer thought or site of them really brings out the worse in you. Maybe it's because you loved them once upon a time and then they changed for the worse which brought out the worse in you, unfortunately or maybe its because your love for them haunts you because they could never love you back maybe because of past experiences.
Hey there, here's my judge's comment from a long long time ago. Sorry it took so long, I was on a hiatus:
"The thing I appreciated most about this poem was its emotional vulnerability that seems to be backed up by a poetic spine of carefully chosen metaphors. The poem goes through many phases. Right in the beginning it tugs at the heart strings due to the honest confession of wanting to open op, whether it would be regarded as rambling or true poetry. Don't we all, as poets, struggle with this thin line between venting and making true art?
The poem quickly ventures into the greatness of nature, which is tricky as it can easily turn cliche or over-the-top. But Senyru pulled it off nicely, pulling the reader into a romantic vibe, yet neutralising it with a hint of reality. Something we as readers can relate to: staying up late to catch a glimpse of something.
But my favourite part was when the poet manages to pull in coding without it sounding too geeky and out-of-place. The mention of a stack overflow was subtle enough for me to not wake up from the romantic vibe from the previous stanzas. I feel like, in the beginning, the persona seemed to have communication problems in the relationship (stuck in between what his love might consider ramblings, yet he consider poetry). The inclusion of code-talk and syntax enforced this struggle to me. Kudos to Senyru for juxtaposing so many different images from different areas. Because right after the coding, the poem subtly goes through art and love again.
Overall, I think the poem portrayed an inner struggle very well. The images are jumbled yet create an unique entity together. Well done."
Just rereading old stuff and I'm not sure how or when the heck I missed this. There's a lot going on in this, but it flows together well.
The part where the art ceases to be when it needs to be explained- I read that somewhere, too! Lol it's something that always stuck with me because I feel it's true. To me, art is subjective (unless it's clearly not lol). Whether it's poetry, music, paintings, or even some forms of dance. They can all be interpreted in so many ways by different people and I feel like, once you have to explain a painting or the meaning of a poem, it loses that. Anyway, that's me. I guess i enjoy the art of mystery behind certain things.