RED GIANT (we)

by mnemosyne   Mar 10, 2016


-

we fell
into each other,
a sea of verbs
that lapped the shore
with unquenchable
thirst

-

we cheated time
in a con of fate
and swallowed stars,
our faithful sentries,
and cursed the heavens
for making us glow

-

we splayed the truth
in poppy fields
fertilizing vowels
with systemic secrets
in soiled beds

-

we grew into
a wanton chapel
of overripe dreams
between distant hours

-

we spoke in riddles
with revenant breath
burying sentiments,
dismembered bodies
of feeling

-

we put our faith
in a jealous moon
and broke our necks
waiting for it
to rise

-

(we crawled
into each other's
hands
and fell out
slowly dying

-

we were all
at once,
we were, once
we were
we)

-

10 MARCH 2016 RRL*

7


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    Now this is a poem, That final stanza is mind blowing to me. Take the word 'we' and repeat it 4 times throw in 'were' 3 times in a stanza of only 11 words and make it work. Not only does it work it leaves a lasting impression. Every stanza has me thinking, each beautifully crafted. It makes me think that the poem had twice as many words originally and the poet took her chisel and hammered the unnecessary ones away. I love the layout and the whole thought inducing tone of this piece. Very well written. 10 points.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Such beauty

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This really is a beautifully written and delicate piece of work. Wonderful.

    All the very best and congratulations on the win.

  • 1 year ago

    by hiraeth

    Can't stop reading this, I really cant narrow down my favourite stanza from this, they're all perfect, picturesque, and can definitely stand as a poem on their own.

  • 1 year ago

    by Poetess

    Well hell.

    I'm glad a had a vote left.

    This is just stunning. Brilliant. Beautiful.

    • 1 year ago

      by mnemosyne

      Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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