Do you think that I could forget you?
That I could murder all the moments
where I had any immaculate kind of
faith in you?
You and I were bonded by beautiful
chaos, tragic vulnerability, and somewhere
between the woodlands I made a
home for us. I wrote an aria and
sang it to life for you, so it could
blossom not just before us but within
We were not castles built for beauty
and royalty, no, we were born in
the wild, running not away from the
world but to our new one.
You woke me not with a kiss but
with the promise that the darkness
would not override what we had
tried so hard to strengthen.
Reconciled not by words but by
a future where there is nothing
to hide, no shame to be found
in the branches, where sunlight
touches the humanity in us and
shows us how to live, unafraid,
Written 3/20/16 with the song "To Built a Home" by the Cinematic Orchestra in mind.
I have just read your poem through for the 2nd time and it captured me. Not just your way of describing a scene, but describing an important part, a personal section of your life.
Title - 'into the woods' If I had not already read this piece I would have thought of this in the literal sense; but now I know this not to be true. Moreover, it is a metaphor, and one that leads nicely into the main body of the poem...
Stanza 1 - I like introductions that capture the reader's attention. Like a book, if you don't use this initial section to grab your reader they may well close it and put it back. Well, this grabs in arguably the best way, it asks a question, it makes the reader think and want more. The question in two parts sets the scene of a recent break-up of a relationship. The questions posed to the partner are balanced, so the reader is left musing to whether the 'moments of immaculate faith' could in fact be erased/ murdered. The brutality of the word 'murdered' allows strong emotion to be imprinted onto this relationship.
Stanza 2 - Here the poem encapsulates the theme, the relationship. The alliteration of 'bonded by beautiful chaos' works well in phonics and symbolism. The imagery of 'tragic vulnerability' conjures up cruel experiences resulting in that 'vulnerability' that many poets can relate to; and indeed need to be able to write. The 'making a home in the woodlands brings the title into the poem. The image of seeing a familiar fragility in someone makes one want to care for them; almost like caring for them is caring for ourselves, or at least wanting that for our fragile selves. Singing for love is known, but singing an 'aria' is a unique way of describing this and actually brings a passionate image. To sing such a feminine piece requires full effort and complete dedication born of years of sacrifice to reach those notes/ sounds. Likening this to the relationship is exquisite, breathing life to an inner desire, wanting to trace a belief onto reality. A tall order I have found out myself. Anyway, well described...
Stanza 3 - Here I see recognition of difference; knowledge that breaking away from the norm, is right in this instance. Running away from (castles/ beauty/ royalty) strength, societal pigeon holes and wealth, everything acceptable; however, the running is not away from, no its running to a version that better suits, a bespoke world. I like this twist, it is like not running scared, but running brave and excitedly.
Stanza 4 - A single sentence, but this proclamation is powerful. An acknowledgement of 'darkness' a history of hardship wrapped in a promise that this dark history would not 'override' the good work put in together to make a positive change.
Stanza 5 - I see this final section as a pivotal point. The poem could go either way, the promise could be broken and the end a bitter resentful crescendo, or this, a future tomorrow where life is honest and freedom is just that, free. I like the way you describe 'no shame' as being in full light, for all to see. Also, the vitality and nourishing sunlight feeding supporting a life, 'unafraid...
Last line - these two words hold increased value as a footnote. Living a life unafraid and without restriction, without rules.
Living your life without fear and away from the rules of others
POTP, I am unsure if I have fully understood your poem, but I do know I have enjoyed your turn of phrase and ability to create intense emotions using effective metaphors.