Comments : Arms of a feather (Syria)

  • 1 year ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    How come nobody has commented on this?

    This is a mesmerizing, vivid piece of poetry good sir!
    You definitely have some strong talent in the world of writing.

    I believe it can even be a song, the words just ooze with imagery. I love the opening stanza it grabs the reader right away leading them on a journey of top notch work. The surrounding whole of the crow was dark yet beautiful. Reminded me in a way of Game of Thrones a little, Crows - Men taking the black etc.

    Talented piece, keep it up - I'll check more of your work out tomorrow, it's late here.
    5/5

    • 1 year ago

      by Maher

      Thank you sir and many thanks for taking the time to comment, and also for your compliments - much of which are far beyond me. I will read some of yours now while it's still early here :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Maher,

    I agree with lune this piece shines with imagery and is very mesmerizing.
    You have a real talent and how this piece has been missed amazes me.

    Em

    • 1 year ago

      by Maher

      Thanks Em. I don't mind it being missed, as long as someone enjoys it somewhere down the line, it's enough for me :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Everlasting

    I wonder if you used meter on purpose or if you used it just by following the sound?

    Either way, I enjoyed this piece. Specially the sound. :D

    • 1 year ago

      by Maher

      Thank you for giving it a read :) It was definitely on purpose. I tried to make it almost like a military march, but one sided. I didn't get it completely right, but that'll hopefully come with practice.

  • 1 year ago

    by Everlasting

    Hmm As weird as it may sound but I'm not that familiar with military March... Eek

    But the majority of the lines in the poem sounded like anapest.
    I love reading anapest when it's well done. If you continue practicing it, I'll be reading more of your poems for sure. Lol

    • 1 year ago

      by Maher

      Haha it's not a poetic technique, I meant to the rhythm of a literal military march. To the beat of the snare and in a nearly emotionless robotic flow. I thought it would add more coldness to the humans vs nature theme (for the human side).

      I love writing but I'm willing to bet that your knowledge of poetic techniques is leagues above my own. Lol I wouldn't know what half of them are - I actually had to Google anapest just then. I'd probably do well to brush up on those haha

  • 1 year ago

    by Everlasting

    Huh, pardon? Where is the nearly emotionless robotic flow. Haha I feel so much emotion there.

    No worries. I also had to google what meter was when I discovered that on a few of my pieces I was writing with "a sing song rhythm." That's how I came to learn about poetic techniques by doing it first then wanting to know what it was that I was doing. XD It will come in handy if you learn more about them ( I have a lot to learn too). But it's always better to just go by the sound (whatever it is that you feel and hear at the moment of writing) than to pay attention to the poetic technique.

    All the best. Do keep on writing when the feeling to write comes.

    • 1 year ago

      by Maher

      Haha good to know I'm not in the boat alone then. Thanks again ma'am, will do :)