The Garden Swing

Judge Comments:

This is so elegant and beautiful, I am just in awe with this piece.

Hellon has such elegance within her poetry.. the format, visual display and wording are out of this world!

I sighed at the end of this poem... to regret nothing, just to live in the moment of this elegant memory....

Je regrette I believe is French... and to end it with this word is very touching!

Powerful little gem this week by Hellon!

Excellent write, congrats on your win!

Congratulations, I knew this adorable piece would rock!

...in the words of Cliff Richard 'Con-gra-tu-la-tions...'

'...I want the world to know I'm as happy I can be'

Hello,

I like the launch into the poem mid point. It suggests from the off that there was/ is history before this point in time.

The garden swing and the restful scene of discovering a person asleep. In just a few words we have a warm/ hot day, probably afternoon after lunch. That's when I sleep anyway...

The pause between 'hair' and 'slightly tousled' creates subtle drama, like, I remember that hair in a mess many times before. This makes this reader think of what activities can cause hair to become messed up. The mind boggles. lol

At this point the momentary daydream highlights the historic intimate connection with Romeo.

The lingering gaze description is really effective; as is the mutual blush.

Then the sexual tension is no more, extinguished by shallow pride, neither one wanting to say how they truly feel.

The last line, saying sorry, or more apt, ah regretful - if only we had shared a moment, perhaps what would have followed would have been: tellement special

Que sara sara eh?

Take care,

Michael