My heart aches for you here, so much that I can't describe?
I don't personally have anyone close to me who struggles with addiction... and I know there are many types of addiction, some physical others addiction to gambling or shopping, etc. My heart breaks when I hear of someone struggling with addiction. No matter what it is, it can destroy someone's life and I know how much shame and stigma there is still associated with it. I wish people could see more of the person than just assume that nothing can be done. I believe there is help and hope for everyone, no matter what.
I guess to some extent one could say I got very close to being consumed by an addiction. In the last year, I realized that smoking had started to become addictive to me as an alt. coping mechanism to my main way of coping - self-harm (which I know can be debated as whether or not it was an addiction or a choice, etc but for the longest time I thought there was no real true recovery from it, more so I found out it's an everyday choice, recovery is a slow but possible thing). Also, when I was in the hospital I met a mother who was in rehab for withdrawal from heroin. She was pregnant at the time I met her and that was her decision to get back in the hospital. I never met a stronger woman. She literally went through hell in the few days I saw or the brief moments I passed her in the lounge area.
I know my experience is nothing like yours but I want you to know how much people believe in you. Recovery from anything, especially with that kind of withdrawal, is so tough but you are so worth it.
I know I haven't gone through what you have and we all have different stories but I want to send you some virtual hope and hugs if possible.