Comments : Please explain Dad

  • 1 year ago

    by Marvellous

    It's natural to misquote cost. Till scarcity, value is lost.

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Em, so sad-we all need our parents and when they keep us out of their lives and hearts its devastating. Please, please don't let him destroy you- for whatever reason he's shut you out that's on him, not you. Stay strong and guard your heart-hugs-Brenda

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thank you so much Brenda. Your comments mean alot

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Nominated!

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thank you so much for always commenting etc and for the nomination

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Congratulations on the win, Em!

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thank you Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Congratulations Em. *claps and whoops*

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Haha thank you Michael and for the nomination too. It wouldn't have been possible otherwise :)

  • 1 year ago

    by GB

    Em,

    I like how you just let your pen guide you, so much pain and sincerity in this writing. Be strong :)
    Well done and congratulations.

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks samia

  • 1 year ago

    by DarkNDangerous

    Congratulations Em on the win :)

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thank you :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Congratulations |Em on your well deserved win Milly x

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Milly. Hope you're well xx

  • 1 year ago

    by Marvellous

    Wished this varies, from my home scene. All that happens, tend towards win.

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Marv

  • 1 year ago

    by Alaskan Husky

    ☝

  • 1 year ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    This is heartbreaking to read, there is pain and confusion and so many questions.
    Just writing this for us all to see shows real strength. I applaud you for that and that is why you are in my top 3 for this week.
    My only gripe (I had to have one) is the layout.
    You used one comma mid sentence, either there needed to be more or the lines broken further.
    This probably should have been a 24 line poem.
    Example
    stanza 1
    Ever laid in bed a while
    thinking what went wrong? (this question mark was missing)
    cried just to get rid of your aching heart
    though not for long?
    I'm sick of second guessing
    why you keep me at arms length,
    I wish I could stop visiting you
    and regain all of my strength

    There are also a few words not needed that could easily be trimmed,
    making the poem read like this.

    Ever laid in bed a while
    thinking what went wrong?
    cried to rid your aching heart
    though not for long?
    sick of second guessing
    why you keep me at arms length,
    wish I could stop visiting you
    regain all of my strength

    Of course this is just my opinion, and opinions are like something else we all have one of.
    Normally I am not a fan of rhyming but it helps the poem in this case and is a good fit.
    For your bravery and the emotional content this is worthy of an HM at least. 4 points

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks darren

  • 1 year ago

    by Beautiful Tragedy

    This is a really heartfelt poem,.and I can't relate on the level you do,but I understand because I'm really close with my dad, and If were to ever push me away I'd be devastated. I really hope you establish an emotional connection with your father, given I do not know the circumstances, it is clear here that you miss him and want a better connection with him. Great poem, please continue to write more as I really look forward to reading them!!
    - Peyton <3

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Peyton

  • 1 year ago

    by SnowdropsFall

    I've re-read this poem a few times as it captures how I feel. My dad died two years ago- he kept everyone at arms length, messed up massively and I miss him so much. Great write xxx

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks you and I'm sorry you were in the same situation

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Its always hard when parents don't seem to care. As usual a wonderful poem able to reach all age groups and backgrounds rich with emotion Milly x

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Milly

  • 1 year ago

    by Kips

    That's quite touching! A heartfelt request. If this is your story, I hope your dad gets to read this piece, someday, if he haven't yet.

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks kips

  • 1 year ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Congrats for the win

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks

  • I really liked the emotion you channelled to your audience here. It feels like it is a scene in some sort of a play; I could picture it. A very engaging and moving piece. :)