Comments : Leaving

  • 1 year ago

    by Britt

    Tumbles - tumble, yes?

    Mel, this poem broke my heart and pieced it back together all at once. I don't know why this poem came about but I can piece enough of it together to make it make sense from our conversations and oh my heart. This is really quite beautiful. Your imagery is always so amazing, but something about this that your poetry doesn't typically have is the gut-punch emotion. You always have emotional pieces, but it's softer and stronger at the same time. This was hopeless but full of hope, it was heartwrenching but filled with joy, and it was this gentle plea for understanding that just made me so overwhelmed. This is one of my favorite pieces from you. Stripped down but still guarded. This is really beautiful.

  • 1 year ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    'i don't write about you enough'

    uhm im currently not okay
    i need to breathe wait

  • 1 year ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Mel,
    If this poetry is what comes from being under the weather then forgive me for wishing storms for your future.
    My perception is that it is about the person who raised you, mom, dad or grandparent. The "full belly" and "colic-filled nights" point the way.
    I'm taken aback by the scrubing of the roots of your birth; your phrasing is so "on point" yet unexpected that it blows me away.
    I feel this reconciliation may not have been made yet, like it's what you wanted to express but it's too late or that it's a trial balloon. I hope the message is delivered.

  • 1 year ago

    by Hellon

    I always like to take my time reading your poetry because..you do not post enough and, when you do well I don't always get all of it (as you know) but I do love 'trying'...

    Our home is decadent in

    peeling plaster
    and aerosol.

    Wood bows beneath the white ants and
    reminds us why we will never leave here.

    I guess you live in an older type house...weatherboard perhaps? Never knew you had a problem with white ants there but, I can definitely relate..I think you were using this house however to set the scene for you feelings...it was a metaphor for them perhaps?

    In summer we fan ourselves, tumble ice
    cubes between our teeth and

    count the days until Christmas.

    I do all that too...so again, it's very relatable

    In winter we toast our hot water bottles and
    pray to God in stain glass windows.

    stain glass window has thrown me a bit...I know older colonial style housing has stain glass window but...I feel there is more to this than I'm reading right now...

    I admit I don't write about you enough,

    haven't thanked you enough for the full belly,
    or puff the magic dragon and colic-filled-nights.

    This has got to refer to your mother...most mothers would see that their child had a full belly and would walk the floor with a sick child

    I apologise for trying to scrub
    the roots of my birth
    from my skin,

    Not sure about this...perhaps you have a distorted view as a child that you are now coming to terms with as an adult.

    they were radiating warmth
    I never realised I was leaving.

    You weren't the one I was leaving.

    Yip..as usual, your poem made me thing or..over think maybe haha!!

  • 1 year ago

    by Someone Invisible

    I apologise for trying to scrub
    the roots of my birth
    from my skin,

    This part hit me. This is exactly what i am trying to do. However i do nkt get to realize my past is warm, as it will always be remembered as ice cold with little lukewarm moments.

    I read this poem and sensed a almost forlorn hope. And i wish you well where were you are doing in your journey through life. :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Congratulations on your win-beautiful write!

  • 1 year ago

    by Abed

    Beautiful

  • 1 year ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    This makes me think of the song 'comfort in ending' by jhene aiko for some reason

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    This is absolutely beautiful.
    That is all.

    Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Naughtymouse

    This is an awesome write!!

    Just Epic.

  • 11 months ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    What a creative way to express the feelings of home, and how it hurts to leave, the visual displays of a dwelling or just the comforts or memories.

    I actually cried while reading this.. just a unique and powerful poem!!

  • 11 months ago

    by hiraeth

    Judging Comment:

    Absolutely stunning, a beautiful intertwining of confession and a glimmer of hope. The verses
    "I apologise for trying to scrub
    the roots of my birth
    from my skin, "
    Hit me the hardest, the sheer imagery and emotion that it invokes is just ... at a real loss for words. Exceptional write
    .

  • 10 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    This is a very relatable write, i like how you've formatted this piece..it really controls the reader and makes them absorb every word. Epic

  • 10 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    I love the layout of this piece as well as the content. ..
    beautifully done. ..

    Gel

  • 9 months ago

    by nourayasmine

    Always in love with your poetry.

  • 6 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    i'm re-reading this ... it is freakin awesome!

  • 4 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    It's an awesome piece. It's so bold and honest and touching...